“I don’t get along with anything, I really don’t…I’m, I’m, maybe I’m just a, you know, incredibly tasteful human being.”

What kind of people are these with such low self-esteem that they need a war to feel better about themselves?

Writing, acting, music, comedy. A deep love of literature and books. Thank God for all the artists who’ve helped me.

I don’t like anything in the mainstream and they don’t like me.

Is it impossible to imagine Americans sneaking into Mexico en masse, seeking regular employment and a better way of life?

I don’t do drugs anymore… than, say, the average touring funk band.

Rock stars hawking Diet Cokes–are demons set loose on the Earth to lower the standards for the perfect & holy children of God!

Sixteen years I’ve pounded my head against the mentality of America, which…I’d say it’s about an 8th grade emotional level.

I was in Australia….Lotta leg room down under. Apartments: dollar a month. 2000-acre den….think of the parties.

They proved that if you quit smoking, it will prolong your life. What they haven’t proved is that a prolonged life is a good thing. I haven’t seen the stats on that yet.

I’m totally confused about what I’m going to do with my life.

I’ve been on what I call my UFO Tour, which means, like UFOs, I too have been appearing in small southern towns in front of a handful of hillbillies lately.

I don’t care if you’re obscene, filthy, horrendous — as long as you’re honest.

Sometimes my dad even gets on this kick–‘You hate this country’….I have to tell him…I just hate being lied to.

To me pornography is…spending all your money and not educating the people in America, but spending it instead on weapons.

Isn’t that weird, we’ve made nature against the law. That’s how un-natural we’ve become.

I had a great time doing drugs. Sorry. Never murdered anyone, never robbed anyone, never raped anyone, never beat anyone, never lost a job, a car, a house, a wife or kids, laughed my ass off, and went about my day.

I have fun. I always have fun. I don’t really get in a hurry about anything. I just try to go with the flow and have fun, and that’s how I try to play baseball.

Hey, I’m serious here? Why do you have to ask me how many hits I have?

The nice thing about being on stage is it’s not that I know what to do, but I have a very clear feeling that anything I do is OK. All I’m up there to do is express how I feel. Any way I choose to do that is fine.

You shouldn’t be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.

Anything that is truly an agent or the cause of any event; but they signify merely men’s ignorance of the real an immediate cause.

It’s funny when you’re a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.

I’ve learned to really just say no. If I don’t want to do something, I won’t do it. There’s nothing that can make me do anything.

As long as I know what key the solo is in, I try to kind of empty my mind and not think about anything. I just play without thinking.