I’m totally confused about what I’m going to do with my life.
BILL HICKSIt’s my object to be stared at like a dog that’s just been shown a card trick.
More Bill Hicks Quotes
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Speaking of Satan, I was watching Rush Limbaugh the other day.
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Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don’t know one child with a full time job and children.
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The economy that’s fake anyway! Ha ha ha! Which would be a real bummer. You know. You can see why the government’s cracking down… on the idea of experiencing unconditional love, ah.
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Well we looked at all the people in the Bible and we added ’em up all the way back to Adam and Eve, their ages: 12,000 years.
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You are the imagination of yourself.
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Would you let the aliens land, please? They might be here to pick me up.
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Why do we put people who are on drugs in jail? They’re sick, they’re not criminals. Sick people don’t get healed in prison. You see? It makes no sense.
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I’ve been on what I call my UFO Tour, which means, like UFOs, I too have been appearing in small southern towns in front of a handful of hillbillies lately.
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Is it impossible to imagine Americans sneaking into Mexico en masse, seeking regular employment and a better way of life?
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Jesus-murdered. Martin Luther King-murdered. Gandhi-murdered. Malcolm X-murdered. Reagan-wounded.
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There is a 3rd point of view on the gun control issue – those who I refer to as THE VICTIMS – but they remain strangely silent.
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I don’t care if you’re obscene, filthy, horrendous — as long as you’re honest.
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What do you say we lighten things up and talk about abortion?
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You know what I hate about working? Bosses…The very idea that ANYONE could be my boss, well…I think you see the conflict.
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The Voice of Reason is in us all…and everyone can recognize it because it makes sense and everyone benefits from it equally.
BILL HICKS