“Your denial is beneath you, and thanks to the use of hallucinogenic drugs, I see through you.”

Let me tell you about gays in the military. I don’t want any gay people hanging around me while I’m killing kids. I just don’t want to see it.

Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally on our planet, serves a thousand different functions, all of them positive. To make marijuana against the law is like saying that God made a mistake.

So, it’s good to be here, wherever I am.

Jesus-murdered. Martin Luther King-murdered. Gandhi-murdered. Malcolm X-murdered. Reagan-wounded.

I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.

[Comedy] is an escape from illusions. The audience is…thinking, ‘This bullshit we see and hear all day makes no sense.’

You are the imagination of yourself.

You’re not a human till you’re in my phone book. There. My hat is now in the political ring.

How come people always flip and think they’re Jesus? Why not Buddha? Particularly in America, where more people resemble Buddha than Jesus. ‘Ah’m BUDDHA!’ ‘You’re Bubba!’ ‘Ah’m Buddha now..All I gotta do is change 3 letters on ma belt.

I don’t know what you all believe, and I don’t really care … but you have to admit that beliefs are odd. Lots of Christians wear crosses around their necks … you really think when Jesus comes back, he ever wants to see a fucking cross?

No, I don’t do drugs anymore, either. But I’ll tell you something about drugs. I used to do drugs, but I’ll tell you something honestly about drugs, honestly, and I know it’s not a very popular idea, you don’t hear it very often anymore, but it is the truth,

When two or more people agree on an issue, I form on the other side.

People always snap and think they’re Jesus. How come no one ever snaps and thinks they’re Buddha?

Go back to bed America, your government is in control again. Go back to bed America… you are free to do as we tell you… you are free to do as we tell you.

I love talking about the Kennedy assasination. The reason I do is because I’m fascinated by it. I’m fascinated that our government could lie to us so blatantly, so obviously for so long, and we do absolutely nothing about it. I think that’s interesting in what is ostensibly a democracy.

Mushrooms grow on cow turds. I love that. I think that’s why you giggle the first hour.

When I talk about drugs and alcohol, I’m talking about sex addiction, gambling addiction, eating addiction, throwing-up addiction. I’m not talking about mental illness.

Avoid all needle drugs, the only dope worth shooting is Richard Nixon.

If you don’t have sex and you don’t do drugs, your rock ‘n’ roll better be awfully good.

Soul brother number 1+1 Gettin’ fed like where drugs and guns come from

As applied to substance abuse, the cognitive approach helps individuals to come to grips with the problems leading to emotional distress

To gain a broader perspective on their reliance on drugs for pleasure and/or relief from discomfort.

I must tell you, I haven’t done the drug problem that is faced by cops and people on the border. It’s a hard show to do, but I think it’s going to say a lot about drugs and the problems related to them. I just hope people can watch it, it’s a pretty strong show.

Until I went to rehab, I didn’t understand what it did.