“I have something to tell you non-smokers that I know for a fact that you don’t know, and I feel it’s my duty to pass on information at all times. Ready?. . . . Non-smokers die every day . . .”

For far too long the American public and business sector have kept their silence as civil liberties have been whittled away by statutory and regulatory measures.

Why would you live your life worrying about something that’s not going to happen?

I’m the worst at picking what movies are going to do well. I have no idea. I’m really surprised if a movie I like does well.

The definition of black irony is Pro-lifers killing Doctors who do abortions

Just work. Don’t wait. Everybody’s waiting until they have the perfect idea to start working. Even if you have an inkling of what you want to do, start moving towards it. And it’s going to flesh itself out through the process of moving towards the goal.

A miniature village in Bournemouth caught fire and the flames could be seen nearly three feet away.

Good policy always trumps bad public relations and the best PR can’t trump bad policy.

I hope that my stories serve as explorations and help show readers how and why real-life women don’t always make the “correct” decisions in the face of economic and sexual troubles.

We’ll never die, and all our dreams come true the instant that we have them. And Eve said, Yeah… it’s just not enough is it?

The attitude of unhappiness is not only painful, it is mean and ugly.

We killed 6 innocent people, launching 22, I think $3 million apiece missiles on Baghdad…that’s a little bit overdoing it.

If you meet somebody who says he or she has never dreamed of flying, I don’t believe you. I mean, they’re lying.

On the theft of his material by Denis Leary: “I have a scoop for you. I stole his act. I camouflaged it with punchlines, and to really throw people off, I did it before he did.”

I’m not the Carter who’ll never tell a lie.

Pot is a better drug than alcohol. I’ll prove it to you. You’re at a ball game or a concert, and someone’s really violent and agressive and obnoxious, are they drunk or are they smoking pot?

All your beliefs, they’re just that. They’re nothing. They’re how you were taught and raised. That doesn’t make ’em real.

Sitting in the morning sun, I’ll be sitting when the evening comes.

I’ve seen it all through the yellow windows of the evening train.

Sunday-evening tea before the fire! I have never missed one moment of beauty, not even taken it for granted.

The evening star Is the most beautiful of all stars.

Is everybody in?… Is everybody in?… Is everybody in? The ceremony is about to begin…

You’ve seen your birth, your life and death. You might recall all the rest. Did you have a good world when you died? Enough to base a movie on?

The program for this evening is not new. You’ve seen this entertainment through and through.

Women have in their natures something akin to owls and fireflies. While men grow stupid and sleepy towards evening, they become brighter and more open-eyed, and show a propensity to flit and sparkle under the light of chandeliers.