Sixteen years I’ve pounded my head against the mentality of America, which…I’d say it’s about an 8th grade emotional level.
BILL HICKSI go to dance clubs…about once a year just to justify the other 364 days I spend in my apartment going ‘God, what idiots!’
More Bill Hicks Quotes
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It’s always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it’s just hilarious.
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If you are living for tomorrow, you will always be one day behind.
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No, I don’t do drugs anymore, either. But I’ll tell you something about drugs. I used to do drugs, but I’ll tell you something honestly about drugs, honestly, and I know it’s not a very popular idea, you don’t hear it very often anymore, but it is the truth,
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People are bringing SHOTGUNS to UFO sightings…brings a whole new meaning to that phrase ‘You ain’t from around here, ar’ya?’
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I never got along with my dad. Kids used to come up to me and say, ‘My dad can beat up your dad.’ I’d say ‘Yeah? When?’
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Well we looked at all the people in the Bible and we added ’em up all the way back to Adam and Eve, their ages: 12,000 years.
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The Voice of Reason is in us all…and everyone can recognize it because it makes sense and everyone benefits from it equally.
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Speaking of Satan, I was watching Rush Limbaugh the other day.
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A Christian will say… “I believe God created me in one day” Yeah, looks liked He rushed it.
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See we just had a misunderstanding. I thought we lived in the U.S. of A., the United States of America. But actually we live in the U.S. of A., the United States of Advertising. Freedom of expression is guaranteed? If you’ve got the money!
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They proved that if you quit smoking, it will prolong your life. What they haven’t proved is that a prolonged life is a good thing. I haven’t seen the stats on that yet.
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Keith Richards outlived Jim Fixx, the runner and health-nut dude. The plot thickens.
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They believe the bible is the exact word of God – Then they change the bible! Pretty presumptuous, hu huh? “I think what God meant to say…”
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So, it’s good to be here, wherever I am.
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I go to dance clubs…about once a year just to justify the other 364 days I spend in my apartment going ‘God, what idiots!’
BILL HICKS






