No collection of people who are all waiting for the same thing are capable of holding a natural conversation. Even if the thing they are waiting for is only a taxi.
BEN ELTONIf only the strength of the love that people feel when it is reciprocated could be as intense and obsessive as the love we feel when it is not; then marriages would be truly made in heaven.
More Ben Elton Quotes
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I loved writing ‘Two Brothers’ more than anything else I have written. It’s the first book I’ve written that I’ve always known I wanted to write. Having said that, it also kept me awake at nights.
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People who get through life dependent on other people’s possessions are always the first to lecture you on how little possessions count.
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Comedy will always be central to what I do, it’s just an instinct for me, but I am a writer and always have been.
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The appropriation of radical thinking by lazy, self-obsessed hippies is a public relations disaster that could cost the earth.
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I’m lucky because the strongest emotion I have ever felt is being in love, and that definitely informs my writing.
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I try hard not to preach, but I get carried away, which is a mistake, but it’s a risk worth running.
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If only the strength of the love that people feel when it is reciprocated could be as intense and obsessive as the love we feel when it is not; then marriages would be truly made in heaven.
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I’m easy to work with, not a pushover, but I respond to criticism and find it inspiring.
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We’ve all got to look at ourselves, start with yourself, that’s all you can do. I believe that we can act responsibly as a group, it’s just that there are vested interests telling us not to bother.
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Sympathy for victims is always counter-balanced by an equal and opposite feeling of resentment towards them.
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You think I look like a teletubby?
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I don’t consider myself Jewish. I am half-Jewish by race but not through my mother.
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I think it is very difficult to legislate for morality.
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The worst thing about being a great power is when you’re not one any more. It takes centuries to get over it.
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My parents were secular. I am an atheist.
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You didn’t wake up, your dreams just changed gear.
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Leaders should never, ever try to look cool – that’s for dictators
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I did not vote Labour because they’ve heard of Oasis and nobody is going to vote Tory because William Hague has got a baseball cap.
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The earth only has so much bounty to offer and inventing ever larger and more notional prices for that bounty does not change its real value.
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Artists don’t create society, they reflect it
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Yes, OK, farty is a silly word. I wish I’d never used it. I’m 34. Perhaps it was a word for my 20s.
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I see dull people as projects … to be reformed
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You’re mugging old ladies every bit as much if you pinch their pension fund
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Kingsley watched her disappear from the room, wondering if his heart would break. Logic informed him that of course it would not. The heart was no more than a muscle, a pump which distributed blood about the body.
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For the past seventeen years I have been experimenting with lager. I am a lager user and one drug leads to another. If you do lager, as night follows day, you’ll end up doing Kentucky Fried Chicken.
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My advice to anyone adapting a novel is that once they’ve read it and learnt to understand it, then they must throw it away and never look at it again!
BEN ELTON