In an attempt to make things easier for myself, which is the basis for all of history’s worst decisions […].
TINA FEYThis weight of embarrassment came over me, and I felt like I was sweating from my spine out. But I realized, ‘Okay, that happened, and I did not die.’ You’ve got to experience failure to understand that you can survive it.
More Tina Fey Quotes
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Obviously, as an adult I realize this girl-on-girl sabotage is the third worst kind of female behavior, right behind saying “like” all the time and leaving your baby in a dumpster.
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If you ever start to feel good about yourself… …. they have this thing called the internet.
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If the answer is no, ignore it and move on. Your energy is better used doing your work and outpacing people that way. Then, when you’re in charge, don’t hire the people who were jerky to you.
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In a study, scientists report that drinking beer can be good for the liver. I’m sorry, did I say ‘scientists’? I meant Irish people.
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I do like to start on time; I like to set the bar high for people.
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Everybody kind of gets to be the person they didn’t get to be.
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Sometimes if you have a difficult decisin to make, just stall until the answer presents itself.
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Some people say, “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.
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(My proudest moment as a child was the time I beat my uncle Pierre at Scrabble with the seven-letter word FARTING.)
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People lose their minds, trying to prove their parental worth by getting their children into one of five colleges; when there are thousands of good colleges across the United States – and elsewhere.
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I feel like there is a lot of inherent humor in the stress and insanity surrounding that process.
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When humor works, it works because it’s clarifying what people already feel. It has to come from someplace real.
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Lesson learned? When people say, “You really, really must” do something, it means you don’t really have to. No one ever says, “You really, really must deliver the baby during labor.” When it’s true, it doesn’t need to be said.
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An interim government was set up in Afghanistan. It included two women, one of whom was Minister of Women’s Affairs. Man, who’d she have to show here ankles to to get that job?
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I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it’s only because I struggle with math.
TINA FEY