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I have no affinity for animals. I don’t hate animals and I would never hurt an animal; I just don’t actively care about them.

Tina Fey

If you ever start to feel good about yourself… …. they have this thing called the internet.
TINA FEY

Call Feel Good Internet Yourself
Ah, babies! They’re more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts.
TINA FEY

Adorable Baby Blame Creature Fart Humor
When a man plays a woman in a dress, you’re halfway there. It’s inherently funny. When a woman plays a man, for whatever reason, it’s not that instant kind of funny.
TINA FEY

Dress Funny Halfway Play Inhernity Men Woman
Gay people don’t actually try to convert people. That’s Jehovah’s Witnesses you’re thinking of.
TINA FEY

Actual Convert Gay People Thinking Witnesses Witty
You do not have to sleep with a comedian to learn what you’re doing. Male comedians will not like that advice, but it is the truth.
TINA FEY

Advice Comedian Doing Learn Male Truth
You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. You have to go down the chute.
TINA FEY

Funny Inspirational Impossible Strong Think Witty Woman
Thomas Jefferson-another gorgeous white boy who would not have been interested in me. This was my problem in a nutshell. To get some play in Charlottesville, you had to be either a Martha Jefferson or a Sally Hemings.
TINA FEY

Another Boy Boys Country Gorgeous Interested People Person Play Problem White
To say I’m an overrated troll, when you have never even seen me guard a bridge, is patently unfair.
TINA FEY

Bridge Bridges Even Guard Overrated Say Seen Troll Witty
In real life, people in the most dire situations must cope through humor.
TINA FEY

Cope Humor Life People Real Situation
Why are my arms so weak? It’s like I did that push-up last year for nothing!
TINA FEY

Arm Change Educate Energy Nothing Rock Year
I do like to start on time; I like to set the bar high for people.
TINA FEY

Bar High People Start Time
Everybody kind of gets to be the person they didn’t get to be.
TINA FEY

Everybody Get Kind Person Prison
I am going to dedicate myself, full time, to my day-drinking.
TINA FEY

Day Drinking Delicate Drinking Full Go Time
I got a fan letter on the back of a prison menu. And I remember thinking, ‘Well, they get pie. It’s not so bad. They get pie on the weekends.’ I want to say blueberry and also a Boston cream pie. Not so bad.
TINA FEY

Back Bad Fan Pie Remember Think Thinking Weekend Well
An interim government was set up in Afghanistan. It included two women, one of whom was Minister of Women’s Affairs. Man, who’d she have to show here ankles to to get that job?
TINA FEY

Country Funny Government Humor Include Interim Job Minister Set Whom Women
It’s the same reason I don’t get Hooters. Why do we need to enjoy chicken wings and boobies at the same time? Yes, they are a natural and beautiful part of the human experience. And so are boobies. But why at the same time?
TINA FEY

Beautiful Boodies Chicken Enjoy Hooter Need Reason Same Time Wing Wings

I have no affinity for animals. I don’t hate animals and I would never hurt an animal; I just don’t actively care about them.

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Popular Authors

I have no affinity for animals. I don’t hate animals and I would never hurt an animal; I just don’t actively care about them.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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