“I ate too many Frosted Flakes. I don’t remember what I said last night.”

I think I’m the only player who looks at each and every center and says to myself, ‘That’s barbecued chicken down there.’

I respect order and it really gave me the discipline to be a leader and not a follower. It also helped me stay out of trouble.

We want to win. We want to win big. We want to win the whole thing.

Everybody is not going to like it, but I don’t care if they like or not. I’m Bush, so if they don’t like it resign.

This is a guy who they would have secret meetings about to change the rules. So, that’s going to be my legacy: the most dominant player ever.

I endorse only products I actually use. Like Wheaties keeps offering me money, but I don’t eat Wheaties, so I can’t do it. Now, if Rice Krispies or Frosted Flakes offered me a deal, I’d take it right away. Apple Jacks, I’d be on the box in a heartbeat. Apple Shaqs. Yeah.

I don’t think anything of Laura Frank. You heard me – Laura Frank. Not Lawrence. Laura… It’s not that I blame him, I just wish he’d go to a manly tactic and just fight me. Don’t whine. When he whines, that’s when I change his name of Lawrence Frank.

Once you learn how to do something, you don’t lose it. Unless you die.

They shot the ball well early. What comes out of the microwave hot doesn’t always stay hot. I know, because I eat bagels in the morning.

Why don’t you bring your face up here and let me punch it? Then you can tell me (if I’m stronger).

But, hey I did everything the right way and earned my spot in this game, nothing was given to me.

Kobe always tried to be a hero. But you know, as the saying goes, a hero ain’t nothing but a sandwich.

Some things you just can’t question. Like you can’t question why two plus two is four. So don’t question it, don’t try to look it up.

I’m just getting better and better. It’s just like a bunch of worker bees protecting the king bee, because I’m not a queen bee. I’m a king bee.

The best quality about Kobe Bryant? You want me to be honest? I don’t know. I’ll tell you why. I open my arms to everybody. But he never stepped forward for the embrace. So I never really got to know him. I don’t know anything about him, and it’s kinda sad.

Anyone can win a slam-dunk contest. The real Superman is dead. He was assassinated by Pat Riley. I’m the Big Cactus now and ready to roll again.

In my dreams I ate and I ate my dreams.

Fruit of all the kinds that the country produced were laid before him; he ate very little, but from time to time a liquor prepared from cocoa, and of an aphrodisiac nature.

You guys make the rules up, so a foul is a foul. It doesn’t matter if a guy is bigger and stronger. It’s not my fault I ate my Frosted Flakes when I was little, and you ate Wheaties.

A panda walks into a tea room and ordered a salad and ate it. Then it pulled out a pistol, shot the man in the next table dead, and walked out.

Since Eve ate the apple, much depends on dinner.

My mother kept the house clean and we ate good.

I knew if I ate anything of hers again, it would lkely tell me the same message: help me,

But if there was a mini-comic here in my hand, I’d read it while I ate my lunch.