I don’t like a tremendous amount of conflict. I don’t think that fighting and passion are the same thing.
TINA FEYI think someone should design exercise machines that reward people with sex at the end of their workouts, because people will perform superhuman feats for even the faint hope of that.
More Tina Fey Quotes
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Why are my arms so weak? It’s like I did that push-up last year for nothing!
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If you ever start to feel good about yourself… …. they have this thing called the internet.
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Politics and prostitution have to be the only jobs where inexperience is considered a virtue.
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Lesson learned? When people say, “You really, really must” do something, it means you don’t really have to. No one ever says, “You really, really must deliver the baby during labor.” When it’s true, it doesn’t need to be said.
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Photoshop is just like makeup. When it’s done well it looks great, and when it’s overdone you look like a crazy asshole.
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In a study, scientists report that drinking beer can be good for the liver. I’m sorry, did I say ‘scientists’? I meant Irish people.
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Don’t be too precious or attached to anything you write. Let things be malleable.
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For my first show at ‘SNL’, I wrote a Bill Clinton sketch, and during our read-through, it wasn’t getting any laughs.
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Just say yes and you’ll figure it out afterwards.
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Maternity leave is over for Tina Fey of Saturday Night Live. She’ll be back behind the Weekend Update anchor desk for this week’s episode, her first show since giving birth to daughter Alice on Sept. 10.
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I want to thank my parents for somehow raising me to have confidence that is disproportionate with my looks and abilities.
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Not only is my wardrobe totally average, my body’s totally average. I love all the candy-fantasy fulfillment of Sex and the City.
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Don’t waste your energy trying to educate or change opinions… Do your thing and don’t care if they like it.
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If the answer is no, ignore it and move on. Your energy is better used doing your work and outpacing people that way. Then, when you’re in charge, don’t hire the people who were jerky to you.
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Some people say, “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.
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If you retain nothing else, always remember the most important Rule of Beauty. “Who cares?”
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You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at.
TINA FEY -
Gravity”: “It’s the story of how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die then spend one more minute with a woman his own age.
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When humor works, it works because it’s clarifying what people already feel. It has to come from someplace real.
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If you want to make an audience laugh, you dress a man up like an old lady and push her down the stairs. If you want to make comedy writers laugh, you push an actual old lady down the stairs.
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I hire people that are good, and aren’t crazy. Or assholes. Because that takes up too much time. There are just as many good people who are not crazy.
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(My proudest moment as a child was the time I beat my uncle Pierre at Scrabble with the seven-letter word FARTING.)
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You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. You have to go down the chute.
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What Turning Forty Means to Me I need to take my pants off as soon as I get home. I didn’t used to have to do that. But now I do.
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You can’t control things by being nervous.
TINA FEY -
In order to feel safer on his private jet, actor John Travolta has purchased a bomb-sniffing dog. Unfortunately for the actor, the dog came six movies too late.
TINA FEY