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There is no one of-woman-born who does not like Red Lobster cheddar biscuits. Anyone who claims otherwise is a liar and a Socialist.

Tina Fey

I am going to dedicate myself, full time, to my day-drinking.
TINA FEY

Day Drinking Delicate Drinking Full Go Time
Whatever the problem – be part of the solution
TINA FEY

Part Problem Solutions Whatever
Maternity leave is over for Tina Fey of Saturday Night Live. She’ll be back behind the Weekend Update anchor desk for this week’s episode, her first show since giving birth to daughter Alice on Sept. 10.
TINA FEY

Baby Daughter Leave Maternity Night Over Saturday Weekend
This week, penny collector Gene Sukie went to the bank and cashed in ten thousand pounds of pennies he had collected over 34 years, which were worth over fourteen thousand dollars. And, of course, I was in line behind him.
TINA FEY

Collector Country Funny Humor Penny People Person Pound Thousand Year
I prefer the retro chic of spending Christmas just like Joseph and Mary did – Traveling arduously back to the place of your birth to be counted, with no guarantee of a bed when you get there.
TINA FEY

Bed Birth Chic Christmas Guarantee People Prefer Retro Spend
North Korea referred to The Interview as absolutely intolerable and a wanton act of terror.
TINA FEY

Absolute Act Country Interview Intolerable Refer Terror Wanton
In an attempt to make things easier for myself, which is the basis for all of history’s worst decisions […].
TINA FEY

Attempt Decision Easier History Myself Thing Worst
I think part of picking where you live in New York is accepting who you are. Really looking at yourself and going, ‘Yeah, I’m not cool enough for the West Village.’
TINA FEY

Accept Country Live Part Pick Think
According to a new study, women in satisfying marriages are less likely to develop cardiovascular diseases than unmarried women. So don’t worry, lonely women, you’ll be dead soon.
TINA FEY

According Cardiovascular Develop Disease Funny Marriage Less Lonely Marriage Satisfying Study Women Worry
If you ever start to feel good about yourself… …. they have this thing called the internet.
TINA FEY

Call Feel Good Internet Yourself
And I can see Russia from my house.
TINA FEY

Country House Live Saturday Night
I think someone should design exercise machines that reward people with sex at the end of their workouts, because people will perform superhuman feats for even the faint hope of that.
TINA FEY

Design Excercise Funny Machine People Reward Sex Someone Workout
Some people say, “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.
TINA FEY

Cry Let Mad never People Some Witty
‘How do you juggle it all?’ people constantly ask me, with an accusatory look in their eyes. ‘You’re screwing it all up, aren’t you?’ their eyes say.
TINA FEY

Accusatory All Ask Constant Dream Eye Job Juggle Look Mother People
I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it’s only because I struggle with math.
TINA FEY

Again Crack Funny Inspirational Joke Like Math Struggle
I do like to start on time; I like to set the bar high for people.
TINA FEY

Bar High People Start Time

There is no one of-woman-born who does not like Red Lobster cheddar biscuits. Anyone who claims otherwise is a liar and a Socialist.

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There is no one of-woman-born who does not like Red Lobster cheddar biscuits. Anyone who claims otherwise is a liar and a Socialist.

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Popular Authors

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