“Stay out of the gentlemen’s clubs. Get a lot of rest. Just have fun and relax and stay focused.”

As a general, and as a leader of this team, whatever I’ve got to do get my guys going I’ll do it every time. If I have to be the bad guy sometime, I’ll guess I’ll take that. That’s what a leader and a general and a chief of police does.

And I want to do it the right way, like everybody else, not just a famous figurehead that gets a job because he is a famous basketball player. I want to really learn the business.

I’m pissed off. ‘Cause I knew I did something wrong. I’ll have a hell of a season if I win the championship and average 20 points a game.

I’m dominant every night. I come in every night and get beat up.

He’s the president. I’m the general. Unless I want to get impeached, I got to do what he says.

I beat a lot of teams from the line. You have to have mechanics. But see, what people don’t know about my wrists is my wrists don’t go all the way back.

(The Hack-A-Shaq is) just a way of telling me that you can’t stop me. Thank you. I appreciate it.

I don’t take anything personal. I just have a certain file in my head, so Earthlings must be careful with what they say.

I’m a cop, and cops talk. They called me the day he did it, but did you ever hear me say anything about it? I played ball, because that’s how I am. I’m true.

Y’all reporters like my quotes, don’t you. Yeah, my quotes are Shaqalicious.

When you’re righteous, you don’t have to tell people that you’re righteous.

A pinch is a pinch. If you pinch my right nipple, I’m going to say, ‘ouch.’ If I pinch your right nipple, you’re going to say ‘ouch.’ A foul is a foul and a flagrant is a flagrant.

Obviously, Sam is the type of guy that hides behind his pen and pad. I promise you he wouldn’t say that to my face in a dark alley where it’s just me and him and no witnesses.

I would like to be referred to as ‘The Big Aristotle’.

Tell Yao Ming, ‘Ching-chong-yang-wah-ah-soh.’

The stats win nothing. I’m still sexy. I’m still great.

United are more popular around the world. There is a difference and I can see that. Bayern Munich is a big club but United are bigger.

Don’t blame me. Tell your mom to move closer. Tell her there’s this new club called civilization and you guys should join.

You can feel when something’s authentic, and you can feel when it’s not: you know when someone’s trying to make the club record, or trying to make the girl record, or trying to make the thug record. It’s none of that. It’s just my emotions.

I feel like I have reached the stage where I can no longer produce for my club, my manager, and my teammates. I had a poor year, but even if I had hit .350, this would have been my last year. I was full of aches an pains and it had become a chore for me to play. When baseball is no longer fun, it’s no longer a game.

That’s why this generation is the least racist generation ever. You see it all the time. Go to any club.

Everyone needs some time to unwind. There are even coloring book clubs popping up in every state now, so it’s not such an isolating experience.

I feel like I have reached the stage where I can no longer produce for my club, my manager, and my teammates.

Now that I’m an old, old veteran-age 29-I do things a lot differently. I don’t go to the gentlemen’s clubs anymore. I had to slow that down.