“The stats win nothing. I’m still sexy. I’m still great.”

Everybody is not going to like it, but I don’t care if they like or not. I’m Bush, so if they don’t like it resign.

This is a guy who they would have secret meetings about to change the rules. So, that’s going to be my legacy: the most dominant player ever.

I endorse only products I actually use. Like Wheaties keeps offering me money, but I don’t eat Wheaties, so I can’t do it. Now, if Rice Krispies or Frosted Flakes offered me a deal, I’d take it right away. Apple Jacks, I’d be on the box in a heartbeat. Apple Shaqs. Yeah.

I don’t think anything of Laura Frank. You heard me – Laura Frank. Not Lawrence. Laura… It’s not that I blame him, I just wish he’d go to a manly tactic and just fight me. Don’t whine. When he whines, that’s when I change his name of Lawrence Frank.

Once you learn how to do something, you don’t lose it. Unless you die.

They shot the ball well early. What comes out of the microwave hot doesn’t always stay hot. I know, because I eat bagels in the morning.

Why don’t you bring your face up here and let me punch it? Then you can tell me (if I’m stronger).

But, hey I did everything the right way and earned my spot in this game, nothing was given to me.

Kobe always tried to be a hero. But you know, as the saying goes, a hero ain’t nothing but a sandwich.

Some things you just can’t question. Like you can’t question why two plus two is four. So don’t question it, don’t try to look it up.

I’m just getting better and better. It’s just like a bunch of worker bees protecting the king bee, because I’m not a queen bee. I’m a king bee.

The best quality about Kobe Bryant? You want me to be honest? I don’t know. I’ll tell you why. I open my arms to everybody. But he never stepped forward for the embrace. So I never really got to know him. I don’t know anything about him, and it’s kinda sad.

Anyone can win a slam-dunk contest. The real Superman is dead. He was assassinated by Pat Riley. I’m the Big Cactus now and ready to roll again.

All of my projects are done right because I know the game, and I consider myself a rap expert.

The problem with kids these days is they don’t have enough fun stuff to do. When I was stationed with my family in Germany, youth basketball programs gave me something to strive to do my best at.

I’m going to be on a mission. I’ve handled my personal vendettas and handled them well.

The utmost extent of man’s knowledge, is to know that he knows nothing.

In doing nothing men learn to do evil.

I asked, “What are words?” The tenzo said, “One, two, three, four, five.” I asked again, “What is practice?” “Nothing in the entire universe is hidden.”

There is nothing more requisite in business than despatch.

Nothing in the nature around us is evil. This needs to be repeated since one of the human ways of talking oneself into inhuman acts is to cite the supposed cruelty of nature.

If you want God’s grace, all you need is need, all you need is nothing. But that kind of spiritual humility is hard to muster.

There’s nothing prettier in the world than a melody. I can get lost in a song with a melody.

Try to be one of the people on whom nothing is lost!