“Stay out of the gentlemen’s clubs. Get a lot of rest. Just have fun and relax and stay focused.”

It’s sort of like in the movie The Karate Kid when Daniel said he needed Mr. Miyagi. And Mr. Miyagi gave him that confidence to believe he really didn’t. These guys think they really need me right now, but they don’t.

I urge all children to listen to their mothers and fathers. My mom was helping out some kids and she didn’t want to call me for all of the money; she only wanted to take care of some of the kids.

There is no answer to the Pythagorean theorem. Well, there is an answer, but by the time you figure it out, I got 40 points, 10 rebounds and then we’re planning for the parade.

I’m going back to the old Shaq. I was normal last year – I was an earthling last summer. I had to go back to my alien roots.

I’m always ready for a change. I’m Irish. I’m a leprechaun.

It’s LeBron’s team. He’s the captain. This is the time in my career where I can fit in. I’m now in the security business. My job is to protect the King, and that’s what I’m here to do.

As a basketball fan, I get sick and tired of people talking about numbers. To me, the world is getting too materialistic.

I had an awful first quarter but I picked it up. To all you single guys out there, it’s not how you start the date, it’s how you finish it sir.

This summer is going to be a different summer for a lot of people. Everyone is going to take care of their own business and everyone is going to do what’s best for them, including me.

I just said to myself, ‘Damn, I’m a great player.’

If you don’t stick to simplicity, you’ll die a horrible death.

I never make a face when they try to flagrant or hack-a-Shaq me, because I’m not from this planet. Earthlings don’t faze me.

I came here with the perfect chemist’s perception. The formula they had was perfect and any added ingredient could make it go bad or worse.

Keep in mind, I’m not allowed to be tough. I’m tamed.

I know how to turn the bad into good always.

If I was able to have the game I have and shoot 80% from the line, I’d probably be an arrogant person rather than a humble one.

Federalism is the best curb on democracy. [It] assigns limited powers to the central government. Thereby all power is limited. It excludes absolute power of the majority.

United are more popular around the world. There is a difference and I can see that. Bayern Munich is a big club but United are bigger.

Don’t blame me. Tell your mom to move closer. Tell her there’s this new club called civilization and you guys should join.

You can feel when something’s authentic, and you can feel when it’s not: you know when someone’s trying to make the club record, or trying to make the girl record, or trying to make the thug record. It’s none of that. It’s just my emotions.

I feel like I have reached the stage where I can no longer produce for my club, my manager, and my teammates. I had a poor year, but even if I had hit .350, this would have been my last year. I was full of aches an pains and it had become a chore for me to play. When baseball is no longer fun, it’s no longer a game.

That’s why this generation is the least racist generation ever. You see it all the time. Go to any club.

Everyone needs some time to unwind. There are even coloring book clubs popping up in every state now, so it’s not such an isolating experience.

I feel like I have reached the stage where I can no longer produce for my club, my manager, and my teammates.