I know quite a few fellow members of the news analysis and commentary business, and I have it from the highest-placed sources, on the record, that each and every one of our children is a genius.
P. J. O'ROURKEThe problem in Afghanistan is really not so much land as water. It’s a dry country with ample amounts of water running through it, but not to good enough effect.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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Russians not only vehemently despise blacks, they believe Africa begins at the Ukraine border.
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I read good. I was an English major.
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We need a government, alas, because of the nature of humans.
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Some people think that welfare reform should have hurt Bill Clinton with black voters.
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There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences.
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I’ve got a 1990 Porsche 911. It’s just a Carrera, a very simple, straightforward little thing that goes like stink. I love it.
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Globalization is simply opening the free marketplace to encompass the entire world.
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Thank you, Occupy Wall Street. With your vivid example of anticapitalist squalor, I’ve been able to convince all three of my children to become investment bankers.
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If we heard that somebody starved to death in Sweden or Switzerland, we would be shocked.
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The most brilliant satire of all time was ‘A Modest Proposal’ by Jonathan Swift. You’ll notice how everything got straightened out in Ireland within days of that coming out.
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The whole idea of our government is this: If enough people get together and act in concert, they can take something and not pay for it.
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Regulation creates a moral hazard.
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Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
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Seriousness is stupidity sent to college.
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In its worse forms, conservatism is a matter of ‘I hate strangers and anything that’s different.’
P. J. O'ROURKE