I believe in God. God created the world.
P. J. O'ROURKERussians not only vehemently despise blacks, they believe Africa begins at the Ukraine border.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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Ideology, politics and journalism, which luxuriate in failure, are impotent in the face of hope and joy.
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When elites see a homeless person in the gutter, they assume he’s saving a parking place.
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Stupid is a great force in human affairs.
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Adam Smith’s huge failure was the fact that he did not foresee the industrial revolution.
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The world is being run by irresponsible spoiled brats.
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Let’s reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools – and use it on the teachers.
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The budget doesn’t have much control over the government. Then again, the government doesn’t have much control over the budget.
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In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents, worried five of them to death, impeached one and hounded another out of office. And when all else fails, we hold an election and assassinate their character.
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We need a government, alas, because of the nature of humans.
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All change is bad. But sometimes it has to be done.
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The whole idea of our government is this: If enough people get together and act in concert, they can take something and not pay for it.
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Israel is slightly smaller than New Jersey. Moses in effect led the tribes of Israel out of the District of Columbia, parted Chesapeake Bay near Annapolis, and wandered for forty years in Delaware.
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I’m too tough and sensitive to have to have some pubescent twerp with his mom’s earring in his tongue, who combs his hair with Redi-Whip and has an Ani DiFranco tattoo on his shin, come show me how a computer works.
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Everybody in the Middle East wants to explain why they’re right.
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Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife.
P. J. O'ROURKE