“There have been times in my life that I’ve had a ton of vices, and my demons have run amok for years and years and years.”

The next time you have a thought… let it go.

You can teach somebody how to be a brain surgeon, but you cannot teach them how to walk on a stage and make people laugh.

When I was about 12 years old back in Houston, my Dad used to take us to the driving range.

I do live like a rock star, but it’s not as great as it sounds. It’s a lot of traveling.

I have a very fun life. I don’t recommend it for anybody else, but it sure has been fun for me.

My favorite bands are the Allman Brothers and Red Hot Chili Peppers.

We always go out looking for live music after our shows.

I was always a funny guy. I don’t think anybody that makes it to this level of stand-up wasn’t a funny guy when they were young.

If I sit down to write a joke about, whatever, the polluted Gulf of Mexico, it comes out mundane to me.

I was a huge fan of comedy when I was a child.

I’m not the judge of who that is, but I am a believer that no debt in the universe goes unpaid. If you try to buy early, you’ll pay late.

If I’m not in the theatre, I’m in an open mic night or doing a guest set at the Comedy Club, or whatever, just trying to develop stuff.

I write all of my material. It’s all me.

I’ve gathered some of my close musical and comedian friends, and we’re going to see if we can’t bring a few laughs to these soldiers, raise some money, and hopefully lift their spirits.

I don’t think we have a surplus of fine educators in this country that we can just start dropping them for no reason whatsoever.

Movies are boring. It’s like watching paint dry. I did a little role in a movie, and it was eight lines. I was there for three days. It’s just horrible.

The past came to hunt her, but she prepared to fight her demons. She was now a fair believer of herself.

I dance with my demons and live to tell the tale.

I’m just a demon that means well. Freelance for God, but do the work of Satan.

I knuckle down with my demons, and with my weaknesses.

I prefer to channel my problems and inner demons through a character. Another persona. That protects me and my family. I can get my frustrations out that way.

I think the media is a real demon.

It’s only when a man tames his own demons that he becomes the king of himself if not of the world.

It doesn’t matter where I run to my demons will haunt me wherever I go.