Catchphrases flourish in contemporary American English.
P. J. O'ROURKENever be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.
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A U.S. dollar is an IOU from the Federal Reserve Bank. It’s a promissory note that doesn’t actually promise anything. It’s not backed by gold or silver.
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Gossip is what you say about the objects of flattery when they aren’t present.
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Once you’ve built the big machinery of political power, remember you won’t always be the one to run it.
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Richard Nixon was the best thing that ever happened to journalism. I mean this guy was wonderful. Just when you thought he could get no worse, he got worse.
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In its worse forms, conservatism is a matter of ‘I hate strangers and anything that’s different.’
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Politics is the attempt to achieve power and prestige without merit.
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People think the free market is a philosophy, they think that it is a creed. It is none of those things. Free market is a bathroom scale, it is a measuring tape, it’s simply a measurement.
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Like most sensible people, you probably lost interest in modern art about the time that Julian Schnabel was painting broken pieces of the crockery that his wife had thrown at him for painting broken pieces of crockery instead of painting the bathroom and hall.
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We need a government, alas, because of the nature of humans.
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Nobody is making Americans buy Chinese goods.
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I read good. I was an English major.
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There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.
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The importance of local governance may not be obvious to an America accustomed to treating city and state downfalls with doses of federal comeuppance. Sometimes there’s a reason for that – the Civil War. More often, all reasoning seems absent – No Child Left Behind.
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Woodstock had a tremendous impact on American artistic life.
P. J. O'ROURKE






