My uncle was a preacher, and I used to go watch him preach. He was also funny, so I’m very ‘preacher-ish’ on stage, not by intent but because that’s where I learned to talk in front of people.
RON WHITEDiamonds – that’ll shut her up… for a minute!
More Ron White Quotes
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I believe that a bad Super Bowl halftime show is still better than a soccer game.
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If you watch the ‘Blue Collar Comedy Tour,’ don’t expect that when you come see me by myself, ’cause it’s a little rougher.
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The way my brain processes information is quite odd. I mean, I have Attention Deficit Disorder and another learning disability I can’t even spell. I don’t even have a high school diploma. I’m smart, but you can’t prove it on paper.
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I’m not the judge of who that is, but I am a believer that no debt in the universe goes unpaid. If you try to buy early, you’ll pay late.
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If you become famous and don’t have a live show to back it up, they’re not going to pay you any money.
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There have been times in my life that I’ve had a ton of vices, and my demons have run amok for years and years and years.
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Everybody I know is a joke writer.
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The first thing I ever got my hands on was Andy Griffith’s ‘What It Was, Was Football.’ I was fascinated with the fact that every syllable made it funny, and I would laugh even though I didn’t know what any of it meant.
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I was desperate for new material, so anything I can write a joke about that works is in the act. No matter who it offends, or who it bothers – doesn’t matter if its something my wife hates.
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I was a comedy fan when I was a little kid.
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I was always a funny guy. I don’t think anybody that makes it to this level of stand-up wasn’t a funny guy when they were young.
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I begged the universe to make me a famous comedian, and it did. So I tend not to ask for any more.
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I consider it an honor and a privilege to give back however I can for the many sacrifices of these incredibly brave men and women.
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I didn’t get where I am today by worryin’ about how I’d feel tomorrow.
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We always go out looking for live music after our shows.
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Let’s face it: a lot of my material comes from the stuff that happens to me on the road.
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I have a very fun life. I don’t recommend it for anybody else, but it sure has been fun for me.
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I love Cincinnati, but you can keep that spaghetti chili product!
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I don’t watch Comedy Central. I don’t enjoy it.
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Anything I write that I consider stage-quality work, I won’t give my TV show. I put it in my live show.
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The only thing I really worry about is my live stand-up show because I have to answer to the fans.
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There have been times when I played more than others, but I’ve been a road comic for a quarter of a century, so I’ve always played golf on the road because you have a lot of time to kill.
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I write these shows one joke at a time. There’s no continuity. I do try to figure an order to the stories, but there’s not continuity.
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I’m set up where I make a lot of money doing stand-up, and it’s easy.
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My goal is just to become a better comedian.
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You can teach somebody how to be a brain surgeon, but you cannot teach them how to walk on a stage and make people laugh.
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