The first thing I ever got my hands on was Andy Griffith’s ‘What It Was, Was Football.’ I was fascinated with the fact that every syllable made it funny, and I would laugh even though I didn’t know what any of it meant.
RON WHITEDiamonds – that’ll shut her up… for a minute!
More Ron White Quotes
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All of my comedian friends are some of the best joke writers in the world.
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When I was about 12 years old back in Houston, my Dad used to take us to the driving range.
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I was desperate for new material, so anything I can write a joke about that works is in the act. No matter who it offends, or who it bothers – doesn’t matter if its something my wife hates.
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I would have rather been beat by a plumber than Kathy Griffin.
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Television is 15 hour days. Movies are 18 hour days. And it’s 18 hours of doing not a thing.
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I consider it an honor and a privilege to give back however I can for the many sacrifices of these incredibly brave men and women.
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If I sit down to write a joke about, whatever, the polluted Gulf of Mexico, it comes out mundane to me.
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I don’t do talk shows or go on Dr. Phil’s show. He’s a friend of mine, and, no, he doesn’t give me any advice. He doesn’t give solicited advice.
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There’s not a pill you can take; there’s not a class you can go to. Stupid is forever.
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The bulk of my fans are my age, and I’m aging at the same rate they are. That makes me relevant. They like hearing what I have to say. I work hard at it, but it’s addicting, really.
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My goal is just to become a better comedian.
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There’s no idea or concept in comedy you could do that hasn’t been attacked from some angle. But if you start leaving punchlines out so you’ll look cool, I don’t get that. But I don’t watch standup anyway, so I don’t know what they’re doing.
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Think of The Rontourage as the Ron White Channel, where you can see us getting into trouble in all kinds of different places.
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I believe that a bad Super Bowl halftime show is still better than a soccer game.
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I’d rather do a really good small part than a really bad big part.
RON WHITE