I loved listening to laughter even as a little kid.
RON WHITEI write these shows one joke at a time. There’s no continuity. I do try to figure an order to the stories, but there’s not continuity.
More Ron White Quotes
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Donald Trump – and I don’t dislike Donald one single bit – has no idea how good the Mexican people are at building tunnels.
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I would have rather been beat by a plumber than Kathy Griffin.
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I begged the universe to make me a famous comedian, and it did. So I tend not to ask for any more.
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I think the world has their own good, clean, Christian comedy. They don’t need my help.
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I still love to walk on stage and make people laugh, and I work very, very hard at it, and I take it seriously.
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People are saying that I’m an alcoholic, and that’s not true, because I only drink when I work, and I’m a workaholic.
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Diamonds – that’ll shut her up… for a minute!
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I believe that a bad Super Bowl halftime show is still better than a soccer game.
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It went from Bob Newhart to Flip Wilson to Bill Cosby to Richard Pryor to George Carlin to Cheech and Chong. I had all these records.
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The next time you have a thought… let it go.
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My show is more storytelling now than it’s ever been. It’s what I’m good at.
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If you watch the ‘Blue Collar Comedy Tour,’ don’t expect that when you come see me by myself, ’cause it’s a little rougher.
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My brain is like a cross between a colander and a Lazy Susan – thin, slow, and it leaks.
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There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong.
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You wanna get the truth out of me, get me hammered.
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The only way to stay sharp is to do live shows. There is no part-time comedy.
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I don’t like to do material people have heard. Now, they like to hear material that they know, because that’s the stuff that made me famous, and, unfortunately, I don’t do a ton of it.
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I believe everything creative is somewhat collaborative. If you’re a painter and someone stretches your canvas, it was collaborative on some level.
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I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
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Ultimately I’m the writer for me, but also, anytime one of my friends gets stuck with a bit, they can call me, and I’m pretty good at helping them get there.
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That’s the beauty of being a straight-to-DVD star. It really helps you stay under the media’s radar.
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I have a very fun life. I don’t recommend it for anybody else, but it sure has been fun for me.
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There’s no idea or concept in comedy you could do that hasn’t been attacked from some angle. But if you start leaving punchlines out so you’ll look cool, I don’t get that. But I don’t watch standup anyway, so I don’t know what they’re doing.
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If I’m not in the theatre, I’m in an open mic night or doing a guest set at the Comedy Club, or whatever, just trying to develop stuff.
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TV is a hard job. You work 15 hours a day. People tell you what to do. I hate to do it.
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I love Cincinnati, but you can keep that spaghetti chili product!
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