My dad died when I was young; my mom remarried with more haste than sense to a fellow… he wasn’t evil or anything, but he was worthless.
P. J. O'ROURKEWhatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does it to somebody else. This is the idea behind foreign policy.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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No humorist is under any obligation to provide answers and probably if you were to delve into the literary history of humour it’s probably all about not providing answers because the humorist essentially says: this is the way things are.
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Every vote should carry a serial number, so that responsibility for harmful or careless use of the vote can be traced. Concealed voting should be outlawed.
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Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.
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The whole idea of our government is this: If enough people get together and act in concert, they can take something and not pay for it.
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If we heard that somebody starved to death in Sweden or Switzerland, we would be shocked.
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Southern California is a nice place, if you could cut out the show-business cancer. It just keeps spreading.
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The best and brightest don’t go into politics. The best and brightest are at Goldman Sachs.
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America wasn’t founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damned well pleased.
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The minute somebody joins a committee… they immediately suffer from committee brain. They become wildly over-enthusiastic, over-optimistic, over-pessimistic. Committees turn people into idiots, and politics is a committee.
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What Alexander Graham Bell thought up occupied less space than a flower vase. Now it’s so small that I have to search all my pockets to discover I’ve received a spam text.
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The C student starts a restaurant. The A student writes restaurant reviews.
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People think the free market is a philosophy, they think that it is a creed. It is none of those things. Free market is a bathroom scale, it is a measuring tape, it’s simply a measurement.
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A U.S. dollar is an IOU from the Federal Reserve Bank. It’s a promissory note that doesn’t actually promise anything. It’s not backed by gold or silver.
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A fundamental American question is, ‘What’s the big idea?’
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Arab-led Islamic fundamentalism destabilizes nations from Algeria to the Philippines.
P. J. O'ROURKE