Like most sensible people, you probably lost interest in modern art about the time that Julian Schnabel was painting broken pieces of the crockery that his wife had thrown at him for painting broken pieces of crockery instead of painting the bathroom and hall.
P. J. O'ROURKEI was very much in favor of the Iraq invasion.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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I rarely meet a politician that I don’t like personally. They are generally well endowed with charm. Therein lies the danger.
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If you spend 72 hours in a place you’ve never been, talking to people whose language you don’t speak about social, political, and economic complexities you don’t understand, and you come back as the world’s biggest know-it-all, you’re a reporter. Either that or you’re President Obama.
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Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.
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The idea of a stag hunt evokes chivalry – knights in jerkins and hose, ladies on sidesaddles with wimples and billowing dresses, a white stag symbolizing something-or-other, and Robin Hood getting in the way. An actual stag hunt is more like a horseback meeting of a county planning commission.
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Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does it to somebody else. This is the idea behind foreign policy.
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The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.
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When I’m in the car, I want the only one shouting to be me.
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Hubris is one of the great renewable resources.
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In its worse forms, conservatism is a matter of ‘I hate strangers and anything that’s different.’
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When elites see a homeless person in the gutter, they assume he’s saving a parking place.
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A U.S. dollar is an IOU from the Federal Reserve Bank. It’s a promissory note that doesn’t actually promise anything. It’s not backed by gold or silver.
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You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they’re going.
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Some people have facts; these can be proven. Some people have theories; these can be disproven. But people with opinions are mindless and have their minds made up about it.
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Maybe climate change is a threat, and maybe climate change has been tarted up by climatologists trolling for research grant cash. It doesn’t matter.
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The body is forever teaching us lessons. There are all sorts of things that we can’t do, shouldn’t do, had better not do very often or do for too long as we get older. The body makes its presence known.
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Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope.
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Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.
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If you think health care is expensive now, just wait ’til it’s free.
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If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.
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I’ve got a 1990 Porsche 911. It’s just a Carrera, a very simple, straightforward little thing that goes like stink. I love it.
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Bill Clinton is not a hypocrite. If a man believes that it is just and moral to redistribute wealth, there is nothing hypocritical in his attempts to redistribute some of that wealth to himself.
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Nobody is making Americans buy Chinese goods.
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Little islands of human happiness, peace, and prosperity are so exceptional at this point in history that I’m not even sure we can draw lessons from them.
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A fundamental American question is, ‘What’s the big idea?’
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Let’s reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools – and use it on the teachers.
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The good news is that, according to the Obama administration, the rich will pay for everything. The bad news is that, according to the Obama administration, you’re rich.
P. J. O'ROURKE