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People will tell you anything but what they do is always the truth.

P. J. O'Rourke

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Anything Tell

If you ask the government to solve all of your problems, it’s a bit like asking your wife to cook and clean, to raise the children, to hold down a second job to help with the family finances, to keep her parents happy and well and keep your parents happy and well, and to also – to do the lawn and clean the gutters.

P. J. O'ROURKE

If you ask the government to solve all of your problems, it’s a bit like asking your wife to cook and clean, to raise the children, to hold down a second job to help with the family finances, to keep her parents happy and well and keep your parents happy and well, and to also – to do the lawn and clean the gutters.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Cook Down Hold
When I’m in the car, I want the only one shouting to be me.

P. J. O'ROURKE

When I’m in the car, I want the only one shouting to be me.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Only Shout
As a former writer for the ‘National Lampoon,’ I’ve probably contributed to the sea of sarcasm in which we live.

P. J. O'ROURKE

As a former writer for the ‘National Lampoon,’ I’ve probably contributed to the sea of sarcasm in which we live.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Former National Sarcasm Seam Probably Writer
Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope.

P. J. O'ROURKE

Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Cow Dairy Hunt Make Scope
In its worse forms, conservatism is a matter of ‘I hate strangers and anything that’s different.’

P. J. O'ROURKE

In its worse forms, conservatism is a matter of ‘I hate strangers and anything that’s different.’
P. J. O'ROURKE

Anything Conservatism Form
Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.

P. J. O'ROURKE

Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Cleanliness Godliness More Unlikely
Everybody in the Middle East wants to explain why they’re right.

P. J. O'ROURKE

Everybody in the Middle East wants to explain why they’re right.
P. J. O'ROURKE

East Everybody Explain Middle
Each child is biologically required to have a mother. Fatherhood is a well-regarded theory, but motherhood is a fact.

P. J. O'ROURKE

Each child is biologically required to have a mother. Fatherhood is a well-regarded theory, but motherhood is a fact.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Biological Child Each Fatherhood Requires Well
People will tell you anything but what they do is always the truth.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Anything Tell
Politics are for foreigners with their endless wrongs and paltry rights. Politics are a lousy way to get things done. Politics are, like God’s infinite mercy, a last resort.

P. J. O'ROURKE

Politics are for foreigners with their endless wrongs and paltry rights. Politics are a lousy way to get things done. Politics are, like God’s infinite mercy, a last resort.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Foreigner Lousy
Gossip is what you say about the objects of flattery when they aren’t present.

P. J. O'ROURKE

Gossip is what you say about the objects of flattery when they aren’t present.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Flatter Gossip Object
Never wear anything that panics the cat.

P. J. O'ROURKE

Never wear anything that panics the cat.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Anything never
People are not ants or bees. We do not reason or love or live or die collectively.

P. J. O'ROURKE

People are not ants or bees. We do not reason or love or live or die collectively.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Ant Bee Collective
Israel is slightly smaller than New Jersey. Moses in effect led the tribes of Israel out of the District of Columbia, parted Chesapeake Bay near Annapolis, and wandered for forty years in Delaware.

P. J. O'ROURKE

Israel is slightly smaller than New Jersey. Moses in effect led the tribes of Israel out of the District of Columbia, parted Chesapeake Bay near Annapolis, and wandered for forty years in Delaware.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Bay Small
I’ve got a 1990 Porsche 911. It’s just a Carrera, a very simple, straightforward little thing that goes like stink. I love it.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Got Simple Straightforward Thing
I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a ‘learning experience.’ Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I’ve done as a ‘learning experience.’ It makes me feel less stupid.

P. J. O'ROURKE

I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a ‘learning experience.’ Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I’ve done as a ‘learning experience.’ It makes me feel less stupid.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Anything Learn Sixties Think

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People will tell you anything but what they do is always the truth.

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