I don’t even know which end of a computer one is supposed to gaze into. I’ve never used a computer.
P. J. O'ROURKEGovernment is a health hazard. Governments have killed many more people than cigarettes or unbuckled seat belts ever have.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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Global warming is a fact. Now it’s up to liberals to make it a reality. Hence there is crucial importance in preventing powerful, greedy free market forces from getting in the way of worsening storms and rising sea levels. The Kyoto Accord is a good first step.
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Ending wars is very simple if you surrender.
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In its worse forms, conservatism is a matter of ‘I hate strangers and anything that’s different.’
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Rich people don’t like to be in the military. The shoes are ugly and the uniforms itch. Rich people don’t go in much for revolution or terrorism, either.
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I’ve got a 1990 Porsche 911. It’s just a Carrera, a very simple, straightforward little thing that goes like stink. I love it.
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I come from Toledo, Ohio, a town that has been hurt badly by the shift of the automobile business towards Japan. And yet I remember how the car workers lived in the neighborhood that I grew up in. My father was a car salesman, and I remember how we lived. I remember how modestly we lived.
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Don’t send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas. Save them for funerals, when their cheery effect is needed.
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Arab-led Islamic fundamentalism destabilizes nations from Algeria to the Philippines.
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Explosion of positive rights started in 1932 with the election of Roosevelt.
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The Clinton administration launched an attack on people in Texas because those people were religious nuts with guns. Hell, this country was founded by religious nuts with guns. Who does Bill Clinton think stepped ashore on Plymouth Rock?
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When you’re a war correspondent, the reader is for you because the reader is saying, ‘Gee, I wouldn’t want to be doing that.’ They’re on your side.
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Fiscal conservatism is just an easy way to express something that is a bit more difficult, which is that the size and scope of government, and really the size and scope of politics in our lives, has grown uncomfortable, unwieldy, intrusive and inefficient.
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The world is being run by irresponsible spoiled brats.
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The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.
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The C student starts a restaurant. The A student writes restaurant reviews.
P. J. O'ROURKE