The best and brightest don’t go into politics. The best and brightest are at Goldman Sachs.

P. J. O'ROURKE

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The best and brightest don’t go into politics. The best and brightest are at Goldman Sachs.

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The Clinton administration launched an attack on people in Texas because those people were religious nuts with guns. Hell, this country was founded by religious nuts with guns. Who does Bill Clinton think stepped ashore on Plymouth Rock?

P. J. O'ROURKE

The Clinton administration launched an attack on people in Texas because those people were religious nuts with guns. Hell, this country was founded by religious nuts with guns. Who does Bill Clinton think stepped ashore on Plymouth Rock?
P. J. O'ROURKE

Administration Nut President Religious
The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year’s Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you’re married to.

P. J. O'ROURKE

The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year’s Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you’re married to.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Ever New Proper Season Yera
There isn’t much room for an outsider point of view in print any more.

P. J. O'ROURKE

There isn’t much room for an outsider point of view in print any more.
P. J. O'ROURKE

More Much
I was very much in favor of the Iraq invasion.

P. J. O'ROURKE

I was very much in favor of the Iraq invasion.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Favor Invasion Mush
The young are adept at learning, but even more adept at avoiding it.

P. J. O'ROURKE

The young are adept at learning, but even more adept at avoiding it.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Adept Even Learn More
Politics is a necessary evil, or a necessary annoyance, a necessary conundrum.

P. J. O'ROURKE

Politics is a necessary evil, or a necessary annoyance, a necessary conundrum.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Annoyance Conundrum
My dad died when I was young; my mom remarried with more haste than sense to a fellow… he wasn’t evil or anything, but he was worthless.

P. J. O'ROURKE

My dad died when I was young; my mom remarried with more haste than sense to a fellow… he wasn’t evil or anything, but he was worthless.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Anything Dad Fellow Haste Marry Mom
The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn’t work and then they get elected and prove it.

P. J. O'ROURKE

The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn’t work and then they get elected and prove it.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Democrat Make Republican Smarter
Regulation creates a moral hazard.

P. J. O'ROURKE

Regulation creates a moral hazard.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Hazard Morale Regulation
I don’t even know which end of a computer one is supposed to gaze into. I’ve never used a computer.

P. J. O'ROURKE

I don’t even know which end of a computer one is supposed to gaze into. I’ve never used a computer.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Computer Gaze Know One Use
By the end of the 1950s, American cars were so reliable that their reliability went without saying even in car ads. Thousands of them bear testimony to this today, still running on the roads of Cuba though fueled with nationalized Venezuelan gasoline and maintained with spit and haywire.

P. J. O'ROURKE

By the end of the 1950s, American cars were so reliable that their reliability went without saying even in car ads. Thousands of them bear testimony to this today, still running on the roads of Cuba though fueled with nationalized Venezuelan gasoline and maintained with spit and haywire.
P. J. O'ROURKE

End Ernt Reliable Say Thousand
I believe in God. God created the world.

P. J. O'ROURKE

I believe in God. God created the world.
P. J. O'ROURKE
In its worse forms, conservatism is a matter of ‘I hate strangers and anything that’s different.’

P. J. O'ROURKE

In its worse forms, conservatism is a matter of ‘I hate strangers and anything that’s different.’
P. J. O'ROURKE

Anything Conservatism Form
People will tell you anything but what they do is always the truth.

P. J. O'ROURKE

People will tell you anything but what they do is always the truth.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Anything Tell
Every vote should carry a serial number, so that responsibility for harmful or careless use of the vote can be traced. Concealed voting should be outlawed.

P. J. O'ROURKE

Every vote should carry a serial number, so that responsibility for harmful or careless use of the vote can be traced. Concealed voting should be outlawed.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Bote Every Bote Harmful Number Serial Trace
Globalization is simply opening the free marketplace to encompass the entire world.

P. J. O'ROURKE

Globalization is simply opening the free marketplace to encompass the entire world.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Economic Globalization Marketplace Simply

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