Every vote should carry a serial number, so that responsibility for harmful or careless use of the vote can be traced. Concealed voting should be outlawed.
P. J. O'ROURKESometimes the right response to evil is an appeal to powerful and effective social organization – an appeal to civilization itself.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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Each child is biologically required to have a mother. Fatherhood is a well-regarded theory, but motherhood is a fact.
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I believe in God. God created the world.
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The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore.
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Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.
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The people who despise America are the editors of the ‘New Statesman.’ Their green-card applications must have been turned down.
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Supposedly, summer vacation happens because that’s when the kids are home from school, although having the kids home from school is no vacation. And supposedly the kids are home from school because of some vestigial throwback to our agricultural past.
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People are not ants or bees. We do not reason or love or live or die collectively.
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Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
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Once you’ve built the big machinery of political power, remember you won’t always be the one to run it.
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As a former writer for the ‘National Lampoon,’ I’ve probably contributed to the sea of sarcasm in which we live.
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Term limits aren’t enough. We need jail.
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There isn’t much room for an outsider point of view in print any more.
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Call a man ‘ignorant,’ and you have license to show the world your vast fund of knowledge and wise him up.
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Let’s reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools – and use it on the teachers.
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If you ask the government to solve all of your problems, it’s a bit like asking your wife to cook and clean, to raise the children, to hold down a second job to help with the family finances, to keep her parents happy and well and keep your parents happy and well, and to also – to do the lawn and clean the gutters.
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Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.
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Government is a health hazard. Governments have killed many more people than cigarettes or unbuckled seat belts ever have.
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Teasing and a sense of humor, if you can develop that in your kids, and if you can exercise it with the kids, just makes for a pleasanter atmosphere.
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The young are adept at learning, but even more adept at avoiding it.
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Liberals are always proposing perfectly insane ideas, laws that will make everybody happy, laws that will make everything right, make us live forever, and all be rich. Conservatives are never that stupid.
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Will Generation X and the Millennials do a better job running the world than the boomers have? Let’s hope so.
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Wealth brings great benefits to the world. Rich people are heros.
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When I’m in the car, I want the only one shouting to be me.
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Sometimes the right response to evil is an appeal to powerful and effective social organization – an appeal to civilization itself.
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A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat.
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All change is bad. But sometimes it has to be done.
P. J. O'ROURKE