Today I will masterbate! Okay, that was a mistake. I should have written “Today I will masterbate–if I want to!
AL FRANKENThe biases the media has are much bigger than conservative or liberal.
More Al Franken Quotes
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My parents didn’t make a lot of money. My dad was not a high school graduate.
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Well, a lot of politics is communicating with people, and obviously comedy has something to do with that.
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The point is that there is tremendous hypocrisy among the Christian right. And I think that Christian voters should start looking at global warming and extreme poverty as a religious issue that speaks to the culture of life.
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They’re trying to pay for health care and send their kids to college, they’re worried about declining home values, they’re scared for a loved one they have serving in Iraq.
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I’m for Israel’s right to exist.
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They talked about unreasonable searches and seizures, about keeping the government out of their bedrooms.
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One thing I’ve noticed about politics is that these guys have pretty thick hides.
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There’s an element of that that’s either God-given, a talent that you’re not necessarily responsible for.
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People lucky enough to live in the vicinity of an industrial hog farm are, with each breath, made keenly aware of the cause of their declining property values.
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Grown-up love means actually understanding what you love, taking the good with the bad and helping your loved one grow.
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Let’s keep the Internet weird. Let’s keep the Internet free.
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There’s no comparison between NPR and the propaganda that you hear from Rush or from Sean Hannity.
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I’m a bit of a shill for the Clinton Administration, which has its perks. I’m invited to all the inaugural balls.
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I don’t know how many of you have been to New York, but if a building is two blocks away from anything, you can’t see it.
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I just can’t sit still and meditate; that doesn’t kind of work for me. I don’t even know exactly what it means.
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