So everything is all the same job in my eyes, and I don’t want to ever give up any part of it.
AISHA TYLERI’m my own boss and my boss is a total ass.
More Aisha Tyler Quotes
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Marriage isn’t a carnival ride.
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I always wanted to be as busy as possible so that if one job went away I’d still have plenty of other things to do.
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When I was younger, those kinds of comments bothered me, but eventually got to a point where I realized I wasn’t going to change who I was.
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Wipe the rivulets of watery drool from your face, and do it again, like an obstinate toddler running against the wall with his head in a bucket.
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I always tell people that if you really want to know somebody, they should listen to that person’s interview with me. I spend a lot of time with my guests.
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They always say some women like to fix people. I don’t like to fix people, but you like a challenge.
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If you ever needed to ruin someone’s fun, I mean really poop a party, just move things to the workplace. Fun terminated.
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No one wants to hear about how awesome you were; people want to hear about the time you blew it.
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I wish I could say I’m an architect and planned it this way, foresaw doing all these things, but honestly, I’ve been lucky that things have come across my path and they’ve worked out well for me.
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I do not actually DO these things, but I see myself doing them, and that is almost MORE satisfying, because I am also lying down.
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When one is undone—sprawled across the cold tile of a public bathroom in a pool of one’s own vomit, or shivering in the back of a taxi in a pair of urine-soaked skinny jeans with no money for cab fare and a dead cell phone battery.
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“You are going to fail, and anyone who is success has powered through many, many failures.”
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I like to be nice. I want to be a hero. I want to save people. Or just kill zombies, because they deserve it, because they’re already dead and they can’t feel it. They don’t have feelings.
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So what I would say to other people is to just embrace who you are because you will become instantly happier.
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I have always been a softie, and I fight it with every fiber of my being. Sadly, my being’s fibers need to hit the gym.
AISHA TYLER