“I couldn’t hit an elephant’s ass with a bull fiddle.”

I just hitch up my girdle and let ‘er fly.

Before I was ever in my teens, I knew exactly what I wanted to be when I grew up. My goal was to be the greatest athlete that ever lived.

It’s even harder to stay at the top in sports than it is to get there.

Luck? Sure. But only after long practice and only with the ability to think under pressure.

Don’t worry. Just leave everything in the hands of God.

The more you practice, the better. But in any case, practice more than you play.

You know when there’s a star, like in show business, the star has her name in lights on the marquee! Right? And the star gets themoney because the people come to see the star, right? Well, I’m the star, and all of you are in the chorus.

The formula for success is simple: practice and concentration then more practice and more concentration.

I can beat any two players in this tournament by myself. If I need any help, I’ll let you know.

There are times when a golfer is tempted to throw her clubs away and forget the whole ‘humblin’ business.’ At other times, she wouldn’t trade places with a queen-that’s when the shots are long and true, and putts are dropping.

The Babe is here. Who’s coming in second?

Study the rules so that you won’t beat yourself by not knowing something.

I came out to beat everybody in sight, and that’s just what I’m going to do.

I don’t seem able to do my best unless I’m behind or in trouble.

They say golf came easy to me because I was a good athlete, but there’s not any girl on the LPGA Tour who worked near as hard as I did in golf. It’s the toughest game I ever tackled.

My philosophy? Practice, practice, practice and win.

Real sacrifice. Real disappointment. Real failure. And it requires the ability to scrape your sorry ass up off the floor, stumble to your feet.

I’m my own boss and my boss is a total ass.

To work in architecture you are so much involved with society, with politics, with bureaucrats. It’s a very complicated process to do large projects.

No matter how large a horse’s ass you are, to stay by your side until death. A fool could tell you this is a bad deal.

I fight, knock them out, have some sex and Monday I’m back to hitting bags and kicking ass.

Only I can’t do them so I ended up on my ass followed by the most unsightly backward roll out of it, followed by the cast falling over in laughter and a good portion of the audience too.

Did you see The Never-Ending Story? That’s one kick-ass dragon. It’s basically a giant puppy dragon.

I worry that I can come off smarmy. I wonder if I was listening to myself if I’d want to kick my own ass.