“Well, I used to look like this when I was young and now I still do.”

If you don’t know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.

Texas has a lot of electrical votes.

Make a game plan and stick to it. Unless it’s not working.

We’re lost, but we’re making good time.

A home opener is always exciting, no matter if it’s home or on the road.

You can observe a lot by just watching.

In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is.

Anyone who is popular is bound to be disliked.

Why buy good luggage? You only use it when you travel.

If you’re going to cheat, it’s better if you don’t get caught.

It ain’t the heat, it’s the humility.

Even Napoleon had his Watergate.

You wouldn’t have won if we’d beaten you.

I never blame myself when I’m not hitting. I just blame the bat and if it keeps up, I change bats. After all, if I know it isn’t my fault that I’m not hitting, how can I get mad at myself?

I can’t concentrate when I’m thinking.

Failure is just another opportunity to start over.

I’ve gotten so far past the Android and iPhones that I’m back to a flip-phone. It’s funny, you can buy antique flip-phones online. A lot of us collect them. Clearly, they’re considered antiques.

The law does not pretend to punish everything that is dishonest. That would seriously interfere with business.

Once I was in a restaurant and I dropped my fork on the floor, and they gave me a new fork. So I pushed my girlfriend out of her chair.

And I’d marry you, Harry. Because it rhymes.

Don’t mess with our fans or we’ll come and find you.

Its awfully funny how you think I’m fine.

A squirrel attacked me. I got attacked by a squirrel in Battersea Park. They’re dangerous. It’s rare. I’ve torn most of the ligaments in my knee. So no football for me. It’s early retirement now. I’ve got a floating knee-cap!

I find what I do for a living really funny. I mean, acting is kind of a hilarious thing for a grown man to call a job.