“Laughter is the shock absorber that eases the blows of life.”

I guess I’ve got a smart wife.

The other teams could make trouble for us if they win.

It was impossible to get a conversation going, everybody was talking too much.

Pitching always beats batting – and vice-versa.

If you get a guy that can play a couple positions, it helps you out a real lot.

How can you think and hit at the same time?

We were over-whelming underdogs.

Life is a learning experience, only if you learn.

The hardest thing is to get started, but the really hardest thing is to finish.

You stand up for your teammates. Your loyalty is to them. You protect them through good and bad, because they’d do the same for you.

The game is supposed to be fun. If you had a bad day, don’t worry. You can’t expect to get a hit every game.

Buy a stock, if it goes up, sell it, if it goes down, don’t buy it.

I don’t like seeing myself on television. I don’t like it.

Little things are big.

I usually take a two-hour nap from one to four.

You don’t have to swing hard to hit a home run. If you got the timing, it’ll go.

Parliaments have stopped laughing at woman suffrage, and politicians have begun to dodge! It is the inevitable premonition of coming victory.

I know not all that may be coming, but be it what it will, I’ll go to it laughing.

I just got one last thing, I urge all of you, all of you, to enjoy your life, the precious moments you have. To spend each day with some laughter and some thought, to get you’re emotions going.

Whatever my fate, I’ll go to it laughing.

With a lot of comedians, one of their major attributes is that they look comedic, with a certain hangdog or manic expression. I look like the neighborhood bully. That doesn’t elicit laughter.

I wake up laughing every day. I get a kick out of life.

The joke loses everything when the joker laughs himself.

The jest loses its point when he who makes it is the first to laugh.