“Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours.”

Whatever you do, you should do it with feeling.

If people don’t want to come out to the ball park, nobody’s gonna stop ’em.

I’m lucky. Usually you’re dead to get your own museum, but I’m still alive to see mine.

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I’m not hungry enough to eat six.

If you don’t set goals, you can’t regret not reaching them.

Nobody can be all smiley all the time, but having a good positive attitude isn’t something to shrug off.

I wish I had an answer to that because I’m tired of answering that question.

Laughter is the shock absorber that eases the blows of life.

Laughter is the shock absorber that eases the blows of life.

You’ve got to be very careful if you don’t know where you are going, because you might not get there.

If my father was alive to hear that, he’d turn over in his grave.

It’s tough to make predictions, especially about the future.

You have to give 100 percent in the first half of the game. If that isn’t enough, in the second half, you have to give what’s left.

Ok you guys, pair up in threes!

If the world were perfect, it wouldn’t be.

50% of all married people are women.