I don’t think it’s fair – you get married, you give your wife a wedding ring. I think you should give her a mood ring.
ADAM FERRARAMen tend to lie when it comes to sexual conquests. You should hear some of the ego-driven lies my friends have told me: ‘Swear to God, man – the hooker gave the money back.’
More Adam Ferrara Quotes
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The human body is in constant change the minute we’re born. It’s in a constant state of decay. We’re all like Ford Escorts, just falling apart.
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I talk a lot about women in my act, ’cause let’s face it — if I was hungry, I would talk about food.
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Men tend to lie when it comes to sexual conquests. You should hear some of the ego-driven lies my friends have told me: ‘Swear to God, man – the hooker gave the money back.’
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The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me.
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Go to bed.’ ‘Don’t you feel like we’re soul…’
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Being in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, ‘How’s it going with that girl?’ ‘One day at a time, man.’
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My father tried to give me the sex talk once, and he chickened out. He walked into my room and went, ‘Adam – uh, don’t kiss guys.’
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I got into cars through my father. He used to work on cars. My job was to hold the light, which pretty much was the limit of my mechanical abilities.
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There’s no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie – just a quick sniff, ‘Alright, let’s go.’
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Ladies, your happiness is very important to us. You have to understand that. Because when you’re happy, you let us touch you.
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The girls are beautiful in Hollywood – and enough silicon to caulk a sink.
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I woke up my pop in the middle of the night ’cause the boogie man’s under my bed.
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I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate; humans date.
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Oh, it may sound crass, but just check the color when you come home. ‘Hi honey. Infernal red? Oh boy, I ain’t getting laid, and I gotta cut the lawn, I know it.’
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My girlfriend wants to get married. I tell you – I hope she meets somebody nice.
ADAM FERRARA






