“If I can make a teacher’s salary doing comedy, I think that’s better than being a teacher.”

You know you must be doing something right if old people like you.

I’m famous today. People like me today. Might not like me tomorrow. You can’t count on it.

Weed’s not as bad as everything else… ’cause weed is a background substance. You know what I mean, you can smoke some herb and still function. You ain’t crisp… but you’ll function.

I was doing sketches that were funny but socially irresponsible. I felt I was deliberately being encouraged and I was overwhelmed.

If you don’t have the right people around you and you’re moving at a million miles an hour you can lose yourself.

I care about the work I do. But I’m not going to say that money’s not an issue.

Chivalry is dead. Women killed it.

Something about New York, man: You can do more comedy there probably than you can anywhere in the world. If you’re interested in being funny, New York is the place to go.

My wife asked me once if I weren’t a comedian, what I would do. I couldn’t answer the question. I never imagined doing anything else.

The way the people around you position themselves around you to get in your pockets and in your mind is infuriating to me.

Everyone around me says, You’re a genius! You’re great! That’s your voice! But I’m not sure if they’re right.

The mark of greatness is when everything before you is obsolete, and everything after you bears your mark.

Ralph Nader has slavery reparations on his platform, which makes me think he’s not serious. If he thought he could win he wouldn’t even say that.

Fame for me is like a place, a country I’m taking a tour through.

The worst thing to call somebody is crazy. It’s dismissive. “I don’t understand this person. So they’re crazy.” That’s bullshit. These people are not crazy. They strong people. Maybe their environment is a little sick.

Once you been performing on the streets you can conquer any venue.

Find your passion and do it totally. The more life experience you get, the better you’ll be at whatever you want to do.

I’d rather be B.B. King. That’s the way I started. Let the heavy metal guys play heavy metal, let the others play the other … I try to do what I do better, not get away from it.

It would be a better world if everyone in it knew all the truth about everything.

It is better to be an outspoken atheist than a hypocrite.

I think I’m a much better painter than an actor.

I can communicate far better on a guitar than I can through my mouth.

The more choices we give patients affected by depression, the better we will serve them.

I pray for forgiveness. For help and guidance. To be a better person. For the health of my family. For the world to be a better place.