“Chemistry can be a good and bad thing. Chemistry is good when you make love with it. Chemistry is bad when you make crack with it.”

When you’re shooting a movie you are away from home most of the time. It’s an amazing thing that we get to do what we get to do, but you definitely are away from the family more than you’d like to be.

I finished a big book the other day. 421 pages. That’s a lot of coloring when you think about it.

I’ve always had lots of friends and my house was the house they all hung out at.

I was raised by a mother who told me I was great every day of my life.

I’m getting older, and it happens. You don’t care as much. I don’t care about too much anymore. I’ve got to think about that a little bit.

When I take my kid to school, all the parents stop and stare.

Alright, remember, alcohol equals puke equals smelly mess equals nobody likes you.

I don’t know what drives me to succeed. I know I want to always do the best I can. I never was like that as a kid.

Never seen my friends do more push-ups, trying to challenge Cruises’ manhood. It was like, I can be strong, too!

I did rocks, all this dumb stuff. But now it’s just trying to stay afloat and just get through the days.

The only reason I got into stand-up was because my brother told me to. I had no idea what I was going to do with my life. I was 17 and my brother went to a comedy club and he said – you can do that.

Sir one more comment like that and I will strangle you with my microphone wire!

I don’t want to run around with new people. I feel safer with my friends.

I read to my kid, but I can’t stand reading.

Feels good to try, but playing a father, I’m getting a little older. I see now that I’m taking it more serious and I do want that lifestyle.

Sometimes you can’t prioritise family and you feel guilty.

You might be afraid of being alone now. But soon you will be afraid of having the wrong people as company.

Right now I’m the greatest. I don’t say this through vanity. It’s just that the rest are so bad.

Celebrate your strength. You’ve come so far in your practice and have survived 100% of your bad days⁠.

Positivity is great, but remember that we’re all human and it’s okay to have off days.⁠

Don’t let the bad of others kill the good in you.

For the world is in a bad state, but everything will become still worse unless each of us does his best.

Bad men are full of repentance.

Here people was once used to be honourable: now they are all bad; they have kept one goodness: that they are greatest boozers.