Let’s all start walking more and driving less.
LEWIS GRIZZARDLife is a sexually transmitted terminal disease.
More Lewis Grizzard Quotes
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Spring time is the land awakening.
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They tore out my heart and stomped that sucker flat.
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The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity.
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I know lots of people who are educated far beyond their intelligence.
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There’s nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
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When My Love Returns from the Ladies Room, Will I Be Too Old to Care?
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It’s difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.
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It’s better to have died a small child than to be a politician who gets caught in a scandal during a slow news month.
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The only way that I could figure they could improve upon Coca-Cola, one of life’s most delightful elixirs, which studies prove will heal the sick and occasionally raise the dead, is to put bourbon in it.
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Kinky sex involves the use of duck feathers. Perverted sex involves the whole duck.
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Elvis is dead and I don’t feel so good for myself.
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Money doesn’t grow on trees, and if it did somebody else would own the orchard.
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Mama had an appreciation of the language. She taught me a love of words, of how they should be used and how they can fill a creative soul with a passion and lead to a life’s work.
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There’s no such thing as being too Southern.
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I get letters from people who say, ‘What have you got against women?’ What could I possibly have against women? I’ve married three of them.
LEWIS GRIZZARD