“I suppose I miss the British cynicism and the humor.”

Surely if God had meant us to do yoga, he would have put our heads behind our knees.

May you grow to be proud, dignified, and true, and do unto others as you’d have done to you.

It was early detection that saved my voice – and I imagine, my life.

I don’t think people expect Bruce Springsteen to come out in a pink satin jacket, but Rod Stewart, they do. And I like doing it; I don’t wear it just because I think I have to. I’m a very flamboyant person.

I started singing in the bathroom, Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly.

A show is like having a climax. It’s like having an incredible, natural climax. And then suddenly it’s all finished, and you don’t know what to do next.

Whatever road you choose, I’m right behind you win or lose.

Every picture tells a story, don’t it?

Listen, if my career was to end tomorrow, I would have no complaints whatsoever.

I’m only lookin’ for a fantasy, an interlude from reality.

When the one you love is in love with someone else, don’t you know it’s torture, I mean it’s living hell.

All I needed was a friend to lend a guiding hand. But you turned into a lover, and mother what a lover, you wore me out.

What I do now is all my dad’s fault, because he bought me a guitar as a boy, for no apparent reason.

Only a fool permits the letter of the law to override the spirit in the heart. Do not let a piece of paper stand in the way of true love and headlines.

There’s still plenty of lead in this pencil, but I only write to one person now.

Even the President needs passion.

Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.

The reason fat men are good natured is they can neither fight nor run.

Never wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.

A clever arrangement of bad eggs will never make a good omelet.

Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.

Don’t interrupt me while I’m interrupting.

My way of joking is to tell the truth. It’s the funniest joke in the world.

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.