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Gentlemen, haven’t we learned anything from the music of John Lennon? All we need is love.

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When I was little, my mother was funny with me, and I started to be charming and funny for her, and I learned that by being entertaining, you make a connection with another person.
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I had sex with a prostitute when I was 21, I was so bad, she gave me a refund.
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Cricket is basically baseball on valium.
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You’re best when you’re not in charge. The ego locks the muse.
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The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, ‘Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.’ She’s got a baseball bat and yelling, You want a piece of me?
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You know the difference between a tornado and divorce in the south? Nothing! Someone is losing a trailer.
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My favorite thing to do is ride a bicycle. I ride road bikes. And for me, it’s mobile meditation.
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Our job is improving the quality of life, not just delaying death.
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Spring is nature’s way of saying, ‘Let’s party!’
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As an alcoholic, you will violate your standards quicker than you can lower them.
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Please, don’t worry so much. Because in the end, none of us have very long on this Earth. Life is fleeting.
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