Of Orson Welles: It’s like meeting God without dying.
DOROTHY PARKERThe definition of eternity is two people and a ham.
More Dorothy Parker Quotes
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Said after she had been seriously ill: The doctors were very brave about it.
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Telegram to a friend who had just become a mother after a prolonged pregnancy: Good work, Mary. We all knew you had it in you.
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A girl’s best friend is her mutter.
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Never throw mud: you can miss the target, but your hands will remain dirty.
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There is entirely too much charm around, and something must be done to stop it.
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[On being shown an apartment by a real estate agent:] Oh, dear, that’s much too big. All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.
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I was always sweet, at first. Oh, it’s so easy to be sweet to people before you love them.
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If you wear a short enough skirt, the party will come to you.
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Ridicule may be a shield, but it is not a weapon.
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Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
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Ducking for apples — change one letter and it’s the story of my life.
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That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can’t say ‘No’ in any of them.
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Honesty means nothing until you are tested under circumstances where you are sure you could get away with dishonesty.
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Now I know the things I know, and I do the things I do; and if you do not like me so, to hell, my love, with you!
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It turns out that, at social gatherings, as a source of entertainment, conviviality, and good fun, I rank somewhere between a sprig of parsley and a single ice-skate.
DOROTHY PARKER