“If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?”

Los Angeles: Seventy-two suburbs in search of a city.

Ducking for apples — change one letter and it’s the story of my life.

But I don’t give up; I forget why not.

[On being shown an apartment by a real estate agent:] Oh, dear, that’s much too big. All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.

Heterosexuality is not normal, it’s just common.

Creativity is a wild mind and a disciplined eye.

A liberal is a man who leaves the room before the fight starts.

Of course I talk to myself. I like a good speaker, and I appreciate an intelligent audience.

A girl’s best friend is her mutter.

He is a writer for the ages, the ages of four to eight.

Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.

They sicken of the calm who know the storm.

His voice was as intimate as the rustle of sheets.

Telegram to a friend who had just become a mother after a prolonged pregnancy: Good work, Mary. We all knew you had it in you.

You can’t teach an old dogma new tricks.

The only dependable law of life – everything is always worse than you thought it was going to be.

We all get old, but I always say the skinny, pretty girls will be screwed.

I have never felt any ethnic connection between the Greeks and me other than how hairy I am.

The sweetest thing a guy said is that I look pretty with or without makeup.

I dress sexily – but not in an obvious way. Sexy in a virginal way.

When I dress in a certain way and do my hair and makeup in a certain way, it’s not to get attention. I’m not a supermodel. I make the best of what I’ve got. I work out to look the best that I can.

True love is letting her know that her ass really does look fat in those jeans.

You can’t pick and choose the days that you feel like being responsible. It’s not something that disappears when you’re tired.

There’s nothing wrong with a thick eyebrow; Frida Kahlo had them.