The definition of eternity is two people and a ham.
DOROTHY PARKERYears are only garments, and you either wear them with style all your life, or else you go dowdy to the grave.
More Dorothy Parker Quotes
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Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
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Said after she had been seriously ill: The doctors were very brave about it.
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Ducking for apples — change one letter and it’s the story of my life.
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That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.
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Should they whisper false of you, Never trouble to deny; Should the words they say be true, Weep and storm and say they lie.
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If all the young ladies who attended the Yale promenade dance were laid end to end, no one would be the least surprised.
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Bewildered is the fox who lives to find that grapes beyond reach can be really sour.
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If I didn’t care for fun and such, I’d probably amount to much. But I shall stay the way I am, Because I do not give a damn.
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And I’ll stay off Verlaine too; he was always chasing Rimbauds.
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Now, look, baby, ‘Union’ is spelled with 5 letters. It is not a four-letter word.
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I like best to have one book in my hand, and a stack of others on the floor beside me, so as to know the supply of poppy and mandragora will not run out before the small hours.
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I hate almost all rich people, but I think I’d be darling at it.
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The only dependable law of life – everything is always worse than you thought it was going to be.
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A liberal is a man who leaves the room before the fight starts.
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His voice was as intimate as the rustle of sheets.
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There’s life for you. Spend the best years of your life studying penmanship and rhetoric and syntax and Beowulf and George Eliot, and then somebody steals your pencil.
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A little bad taste is like a nice dash of paprika.
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Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.
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Of Orson Welles: It’s like meeting God without dying.
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Don’t look at me in that tone of voice.
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Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
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If all the girls attending [the Yale prom] were laid end to end, I wouldn’t be at all surprised.
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You do what you can, and you do it because you should. But all you can do is all you can do.
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The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.
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They sicken of the calm who know the storm.
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Friends come and go but I wouldn’t have thought you’d be one of them.
DOROTHY PARKER