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Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can’t see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.

Erma Bombeck

Sometimes I can’t figure designers out. It’s as if they flunked human anatomy.
ERMA BOMBECK

Design Fashion Human Literature Myself
As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her.
ERMA BOMBECK

Believe Book Children Friendship Herself Library Myself
There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
ERMA BOMBECK

Happiness Hurt Laughter Pain Tragedy
A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.
ERMA BOMBECK

Family Fun Herself Mom Relationship Yourself
Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.
ERMA BOMBECK

Body Born Children Deep Mom Pregnant
A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. “What shall we name the other one?” I smiled. She was not amused.
ERMA BOMBECK

Body Boundary Community Fun Funny Humor Myself Smile
The hippopotamus is a vegetarian and looks like a wall. Lions who eat only red meat are sleek and slim. Are nutritionists on the wrong track?
ERMA BOMBECK

Animal Food Funny Lion Wrong
Housework can kill you if done right.
ERMA BOMBECK

Funny Kill Work Yourself
One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child’s name and how old he or she is.
ERMA BOMBECK

Children Expectation Funny Life Oneself Sarcastic
Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.
ERMA BOMBECK

Food Funny Humor Moments Woman
My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
ERMA BOMBECK

Home Ideas Myself See Work
I got to thinking one day about all those women on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night.
ERMA BOMBECK

Fate Food Myself Night Oneself Thinking Woman
Women are never what they seem to be. There is the woman you see and there is the woman who is hidden. Buy the gift for the woman who is hidden.
ERMA BOMBECK

Appearance Gift Hide Price Women
A grandparent will help you with your buttons, your zippers, and your shoelaces and not be in any hurry for you to grow up.
ERMA BOMBECK

Clothes Growth Parents Yourself
I read one psychologist’s theory that said, “Never strike a child in your anger.” When could I strike him? When he is kissing me on my birthday? When he’s recuperating from measles? Do I slap the Bible out of his hand on Sunday?
ERMA BOMBECK

Angry Book Children Family Funny Hands Kiss Myself Reading Theory Yourself
Children make your life important.
ERMA BOMBECK

Children Important Literature One Liner Worth

Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can’t see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.

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Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can’t see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Erma Bombeck Quotes