I remember thinking how often we look, but never see … we listen, but never hear … we exist, but never feel. We take our relationships for granted. A house is only a place. It has no life of its own. It needs human voices, activity and laughter to come alive.
ERMA BOMBECKHe who laughs lasts.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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Kids need love the most when they’re acting most unlovable.
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Never have more children than you have car windows.
ERMA BOMBECK -
For years, my husband and I have advocated separate vacations. But the kids keep finding us.
ERMA BOMBECK -
A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. “What shall we name the other one?” I smiled. She was not amused.
ERMA BOMBECK -
I got to thinking one day about all those women on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Women are never what they seem to be. There is the woman you see and there is the woman who is hidden. Buy the gift for the woman who is hidden.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Housework can kill you if done right.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.
ERMA BOMBECK -
It is ludicrous to read the microwave direction on the boxes of food you buy, as each one will have a disclaimer: THIS WILL VARY WITH YOUR MICROWAVE. Loosely translated, this means, You’re on your own, Bernice.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
ERMA BOMBECK -
A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.
ERMA BOMBECK -
If you can’t make it better, you can laugh at it.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity.
ERMA BOMBECK







