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Never have your wallet with you onstage. It’s bad luck. You shouldn’t play the piano with money in your pocket. Play like you need the money.

Tom Waits

The piano has been drinking, not me.
TOM WAITS

Drink Funny Instrument Myself Piano
You can learn a lot about a woman by getting smashed with her.
TOM WAITS

Herself Learning Woman
Well you say that it’s gospel, But I know that it’s only church.
TOM WAITS

Gospel Myself Religious Yourself
If people are a little nervous about approaching you at the market, it’s good. I’m not Chuckles The Clown. Or Bozo. I don’t cut the ribbon at the opening of markets. I don’t stand next to the mayor. Hit your baseball into my yard, and you’ll never see it again.
TOM WAITS

Market Myself Nervous Open People See Yourself
I like turning on two radios at once. I like hearing things wrong. I get a lot of ideas by mishearing things.
TOM WAITS

Hear Ideas Myself Wrong
A gentleman is someone who can play the accordion, but doesn’t.
TOM WAITS

Gentle Man Play
The trick is to have a career and have a family. It’s like having two dogs that hate each other and you have to take them for a walk every night.
TOM WAITS

Career Family Night Trick Yourself
I have an audio stigmatism whereby I hear things wrong – I have audio illusions.
TOM WAITS

Audio Illusion Myself Sick Wrong
I sold a quart of blood and bought a half a pint of scotch.
TOM WAITS

Alcohol Blood Myself
All the donuts have names that sound like prostitutes
TOM WAITS

Donut Name Prostitute Sound
I like Thelonious Monk, he’s so gnarled, he’s like a piece of machinery that’s pulled up the bolts on the floor and gone off on its own.
TOM WAITS

Floor Machine Myself Pieces
People get frightened that success is going to take them out of life. They’re no longer going to be on the corner of Bedlam and Squalor; life will only be something you can get through the mail.
TOM WAITS

People Scare Success Yourself
Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends.
TOM WAITS

Friendship Pain Reality
I’ve always believed that the way you affect your audience is more important than how many of them are there.
TOM WAITS

Affect Audience Believe Important Myself Way
There’s nothing that makes me laugh more than being in the situation where you’re not supposed to laugh. Funerals. People crying. Breaking down. Telling you their life. I’m the worst. I’m the worst at that.
TOM WAITS

Break Cry Hard Time Laughter Life People Situation Worst Yourself
The way you do anything is the way you do everything.
TOM WAITS

Action Style Way Yourself

Never have your wallet with you onstage. It’s bad luck. You shouldn’t play the piano with money in your pocket. Play like you need the money.

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Popular Authors

Never have your wallet with you onstage. It’s bad luck. You shouldn’t play the piano with money in your pocket. Play like you need the money.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Tom Waits Quotes