A mental midget with the IQ of a fence post.
TOM WAITSI don’t have a drinking problem ‘Cept when I can’t get a drink.
More Tom Waits Quotes
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Did the devil make the world while God was sleeping?
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The earth is not my home, I’m just passing by.
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I like beautiful melodies telling me terrible things.
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It’s very hard to stop doing things you’re used to doing. You almost have to dismantle yourself and scatter it all around and then put a blindfold on and put it back together so that you avoid old habits.
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New York forces you to be in endless surreal situations.
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I like Thelonious Monk, he’s so gnarled, he’s like a piece of machinery that’s pulled up the bolts on the floor and gone off on its own.
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When I was younger, I wanted to be older. Now I am older, I am not quite so sure.
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I’m always looking for sounds that are pleasing at the time. The sound of a helicopter is really annoying until you’re drowning, and it’s there to rescue you. Then it sounds like music.
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Writing songs is like capturing birds without killing them. Sometimes you end up with nothing but a mouthful of feathers.
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You got to tell me the brave captain Why are the wicked so strong? How do the angels get to sleep When the devil leaves the porch light on?
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Well you say that it’s gospel, But I know that it’s only church.
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I did my time in the jail of your arms.
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There’s always free cheddar in the mousetrap, baby.
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We have a deficit of wonder right now.
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When you’re writing‚ you’re conjuring. It’s a ritual‚ and you need to be brave and respectful and sometimes get out of the way of whatever it is that you’re inviting into the room.
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Their memory’s like a train: you can see it getting smaller as it pulls away And the things you can’t remember Tell the things you can’t forget that History puts a saint in every dream.
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I have an audio stigmatism whereby I hear things wrong – I have audio illusions.
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Songs are really just very interesting things to be doing with the air.
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I admit that I ain’t no angel, I admit that I ain’t no saint – I’m selfish and I’m cruel and I’m blind. If I exorcise my devils, well my angels may leave too. When they leave they’re so hard to find.
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I’ve seen it all through the yellow windows of the evening train.
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The blues is like a planet. It’s an enormous topic. You can’t ignore the impact that it has had and continues to have on the whole musical culture. It’s a tree that everyone is swinging from. Without it, I don’t know where I would be. It’s indelible and indispensable.
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I’m just trying to make a buck like everyone else.
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My wife called me a mule. She once said, “I didn’t marry a man; I married a mule!” I kept thinking about it. It was in the back of my head. I think it makes a good title for an album.
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There’s nothing that makes me laugh more than being in the situation where you’re not supposed to laugh. Funerals. People crying. Breaking down. Telling you their life. I’m the worst. I’m the worst at that.
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I can’t listen to so much music at the same time. I think you really have to have a diet. You’re just processing too much, there’s no place to put it. If you go a long time without hearing music, then you hear music that nobody else hears.
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They say that I have no hits and that I’m difficult to work with. And they say that like it’s a bad thing.
TOM WAITS