I dunno when I started writing really. I was, like, filling out applications and stuff real early. Last name first, first name last, sex. ‘occasionally’ , stuff like that. Then I was writing letters, filling out forms, writing on bathroom walls.
TOM WAITSI’ve lost my equilibrium, my car keys, and my pride.
More Tom Waits Quotes
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I put food on the table and roof overhead. But I’d trade it all tomorrow for the highway instead.
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I sold a quart of blood and bought a half a pint of scotch.
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There’s nothing that makes me laugh more than being in the situation where you’re not supposed to laugh. Funerals. People crying. Breaking down. Telling you their life. I’m the worst. I’m the worst at that.
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If you get far enough away you’ll be on your way back home.
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All the donuts have names that sound like prostitutes
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The devil knows the Bible like the back of his hand.
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Got a head full of lightning, a hat full of rain.
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I’m just trying to make a buck like everyone else.
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Sing me a rainbow. Steal me a dream.
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If there’s one thing you can say about mankind, there’s nothing kind about man.
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I can’t listen to so much music at the same time. I think you really have to have a diet. You’re just processing too much, there’s no place to put it. If you go a long time without hearing music, then you hear music that nobody else hears.
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Most people don’t care if you’re telling them the truth or if you’re telling them a lie, as long as they’re entertained by it.
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I don’t like hearing Beatles songs in commercials. It almost renders them useless. I think, ‘Oh God, another one bites the dust.’
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They say that I have no hits and that I’m difficult to work with. And they say that like it’s a bad thing.
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Bill Hicks – blowtorch, excavator, truthsayer, and brain specialist. He will correct your vision. Others will drive on the road he built.
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When I was younger, I wanted to be older. Now I am older, I am not quite so sure.
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Not the kind of wheel you fall asleep at.
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Did the devil make the world while God was sleeping?
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We are buried beneath the weight of information, which is being confused with knowledge; quantity is being confused with abundance and wealth with happiness. We are monkeys with money and guns.
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My wife called me a mule. She once said, “I didn’t marry a man; I married a mule!” I kept thinking about it. It was in the back of my head. I think it makes a good title for an album.
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You have to keep busy. After all, no dog’s ever pissed on a moving car.
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I’d rather have a free bottle in front of me than a prefrontal lobotomy.
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I’ve been riding on the crest of a slump lately.
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I’ve always believed that the way you affect your audience is more important than how many of them are there.
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The big print giveth and the small print taketh away.
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Don’t plant your days they turn into weeds.
TOM WAITS