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I want to thank my parents for somehow raising me to have confidence that is disproportionate with my looks and abilities.

Tina Fey

If you are a woman and you bought this book for practical tips on how to make it in a male-dominated workplace, here they are. No pigtails, no tube tops. Cry sparingly.
TINA FEY

Book Dominate Mad Male People Practical Tip Woman Workplace
My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne.
TINA FEY

Ability Acne Anxiety Chin Good Turn Witty
You do not have to sleep with a comedian to learn what you’re doing. Male comedians will not like that advice, but it is the truth.
TINA FEY

Advice Comedian Doing Learn Male Truth
I am going to dedicate myself, full time, to my day-drinking.
TINA FEY

Day Drinking Delicate Drinking Full Go Time
Don’t be too precious or attached to anything you write. Let things be malleable.
TINA FEY

Anything Attach Lety Thing Write
If you retain nothing else, always remember the most important Rule of Beauty. “Who cares?”
TINA FEY

Beauty Care Hilarious Important Inspirational Inspiring Rule
When actors are too good-looking, I can’t memorize them. For example, I have never seen a picture of Sienna Miller where I didn’t say, “That girl’s pretty. Who is that?
TINA FEY

Actor Celebrity Example Girl Good Look Memorize People Picture
I don’t like a tremendous amount of conflict. I don’t think that fighting and passion are the same thing.
TINA FEY

Amount Conflict Fight Fighting Like Passion Same Thing Think Thinking Tremendous
Politics and prostitution have to be the only jobs where inexperience is considered a virtue.
TINA FEY

Consider Inexperience Job Politics Prostitution Uinexperience Virtue
(My proudest moment as a child was the time I beat my uncle Pierre at Scrabble with the seven-letter word FARTING.)
TINA FEY

Children Moment Protest Time Uncles Witty
You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at.
TINA FEY

Humor People Smart Tell Witty
A Harvard Medical School study has determined that rectal thermometers are still the best way to tell a baby’s temperature. Plus, it really teaches the baby who’s boss.
TINA FEY

Baby Boss Determine Medical Rectal School Study Thermometer Way
Thomas Jefferson-another gorgeous white boy who would not have been interested in me. This was my problem in a nutshell. To get some play in Charlottesville, you had to be either a Martha Jefferson or a Sally Hemings.
TINA FEY

Another Boy Boys Country Gorgeous Interested People Person Play Problem White
If you want to make an audience laugh, you dress a man up like an old lady and push her down the stairs. If you want to make comedy writers laugh, you push an actual old lady down the stairs.
TINA FEY

Audience Cress Down Funny Humor Lady Laugh Like Man Men Old Push Start
Everybody kind of gets to be the person they didn’t get to be.
TINA FEY

Everybody Get Kind Person Prison
I prefer the retro chic of spending Christmas just like Joseph and Mary did – Traveling arduously back to the place of your birth to be counted, with no guarantee of a bed when you get there.
TINA FEY

Bed Birth Chic Christmas Guarantee People Prefer Retro Spend

I want to thank my parents for somehow raising me to have confidence that is disproportionate with my looks and abilities.

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I want to thank my parents for somehow raising me to have confidence that is disproportionate with my looks and abilities.

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