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Gay people don’t actually try to convert people. That’s Jehovah’s Witnesses you’re thinking of.

Tina Fey

Gravity”: “It’s the story of how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die then spend one more minute with a woman his own age.
TINA FEY

Age Attempt Decision Easier History Myself Space Stories
In most cases being a good boss means hiring talented people and then getting out of their way.
TINA FEY

Boss Case Good Mean People Talent Top Management Way Witty
I prefer the retro chic of spending Christmas just like Joseph and Mary did – Traveling arduously back to the place of your birth to be counted, with no guarantee of a bed when you get there.
TINA FEY

Bed Birth Chic Christmas Guarantee People Prefer Retro Spend
A Clinical Study. Taking some time to read each night really taught me how to feign narcolepsy when my husband asked me what my “plan” was for taking down the Christmas tree.
TINA FEY

Ask Christmas Clinical Each Feign Husband Read Some Study Talk Taught Tree
People lose their minds, trying to prove their parental worth by getting their children into one of five colleges; when there are thousands of good colleges across the United States – and elsewhere.
TINA FEY

Children Country Elsewhere Mind Parent People Prove Thousand
So, my unsolicited advice to women in the workplace is this. When faced with sexism, or ageism, or lookism, or even really aggressive Buddhism, ask yourself the following question: “Is this person in between me and what I want to do?”
TINA FEY

Ageism Face Funny Motivational Inspirational Lookism Sexism Unsolicited Witty Workplace
You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at.
TINA FEY

Humor People Smart Tell Witty
I want every day to be the most boring news day ever. I want every day to be about spelling bee champions and baby basketball. It’s better to have no comedy material than a horrific news day.
TINA FEY

Baby Basketball Boring Champion Every Most News Spell
Nothing is creepier than a bunch of adults being very quiet.
TINA FEY

Adult Bunch Creepier Nothing Quiet
Some people say, “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.
TINA FEY

Cry Let Mad never People Some Witty
In order to feel safer on his private jet, actor John Travolta has purchased a bomb-sniffing dog. Unfortunately for the actor, the dog came six movies too late.
TINA FEY

Bomb Dog Feel Late Order Purchase Safer Sniff Too
Just say yes and you’ll figure it out afterwards.
TINA FEY

Afterward Figures Hate Saying Yes
And I can see Russia from my house.
TINA FEY

Country House Live Saturday Night
When a coworker shows me cute pictures of her dog, I struggle to respond correctly, like an autistic person who has been taught to recognize human emotions from flash cards. In short, I am the worst.
TINA FEY

Autistic Coworker Emotion Person Picture Recognize Struggle Taught Worst
Don’t waste your energy trying to educate or change opinions… Do your thing and don’t care if they like it.
TINA FEY

Change Confidence Motivational Opinion Self Esteem Waste
According to a new study, women in satisfying marriages are less likely to develop cardiovascular diseases than unmarried women. So don’t worry, lonely women, you’ll be dead soon.
TINA FEY

According Cardiovascular Develop Disease Funny Marriage Less Lonely Marriage Satisfying Study Women Worry

Gay people don’t actually try to convert people. That’s Jehovah’s Witnesses you’re thinking of.

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Gay people don’t actually try to convert people. That’s Jehovah’s Witnesses you’re thinking of.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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