‘How do you juggle it all?’ people constantly ask me, with an accusatory look in their eyes. ‘You’re screwing it all up, aren’t you?’ their eyes say.
TINA FEYIn an attempt to make things easier for myself, which is the basis for all of history’s worst decisions […].
More Tina Fey Quotes
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MAKE STATEMENTS also applies to us women: Speak in statements instead of apologetic questions. No one wants to go to a doctor who says, “I’m going to be your surgeon? I’m here to talk to you about your procedure?
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Maternity leave is over for Tina Fey of Saturday Night Live. She’ll be back behind the Weekend Update anchor desk for this week’s episode, her first show since giving birth to daughter Alice on Sept. 10.
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You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. You have to go down the chute.
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I was first in my class at Johns Hopkins, so?” Make statements, with your actions and your voice.
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You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at.
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I prefer the retro chic of spending Christmas just like Joseph and Mary did – Traveling arduously back to the place of your birth to be counted, with no guarantee of a bed when you get there.
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This week, penny collector Gene Sukie went to the bank and cashed in ten thousand pounds of pennies he had collected over 34 years, which were worth over fourteen thousand dollars. And, of course, I was in line behind him.
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When a coworker shows me cute pictures of her dog, I struggle to respond correctly, like an autistic person who has been taught to recognize human emotions from flash cards. In short, I am the worst.
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I am going to dedicate myself, full time, to my day-drinking.
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Don’t waste your energy trying to educate or change opinions… Do your thing and don’t care if they like it.
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Even more amazing: not the worst review the movie got.
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You do not have to sleep with a comedian to learn what you’re doing. Male comedians will not like that advice, but it is the truth.
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You go through big chunks of time where you’re just thinking, ‘this is impossible – oh,this is impossible’. And then you just keep going and keep going, and you sort of do the impossible.
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I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it’s only because I struggle with math.
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It’s the same reason I don’t get Hooters. Why do we need to enjoy chicken wings and boobies at the same time? Yes, they are a natural and beautiful part of the human experience. And so are boobies. But why at the same time?
TINA FEY