Gravity”: “It’s the story of how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die then spend one more minute with a woman his own age.
TINA FEY‘How do you juggle it all?’ people constantly ask me, with an accusatory look in their eyes. ‘You’re screwing it all up, aren’t you?’ their eyes say.
More Tina Fey Quotes
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(My proudest moment as a child was the time I beat my uncle Pierre at Scrabble with the seven-letter word FARTING.)
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Politics and prostitution have to be the only jobs where inexperience is considered a virtue.
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It was reported that the New York Knicks have won all 12 of the home games attended by magician David Blaine. A spokesman for the Knicks said, ‘if this is what it takes to win, it’s not worth it.’
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In real life, people in the most dire situations must cope through humor.
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It’s the same reason I don’t get Hooters. Why do we need to enjoy chicken wings and boobies at the same time? Yes, they are a natural and beautiful part of the human experience. And so are boobies. But why at the same time?
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Obviously, as an adult I realize this girl-on-girl sabotage is the third worst kind of female behavior, right behind saying “like” all the time and leaving your baby in a dumpster.
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MAKE STATEMENTS also applies to us women: Speak in statements instead of apologetic questions. No one wants to go to a doctor who says, “I’m going to be your surgeon? I’m here to talk to you about your procedure?
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If you retain nothing else, always remember the most important Rule of Beauty. “Who cares?”
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A wise friend once told me, ‘Don’t wear what fashion designers tell you to wear. Wear what they wear.’
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If the answer is no, ignore it and move on. Your energy is better used doing your work and outpacing people that way. Then, when you’re in charge, don’t hire the people who were jerky to you.
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I was a little excited but mostly blorft. “Blorft” is an adjective I just made up that means ‘Completely overwhelmed but proceeding as if everything is fine and reacting to the stress with the torpor of a possum.’ I have been blorft every day for the past seven years.
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A Harvard Medical School study has determined that rectal thermometers are still the best way to tell a baby’s temperature. Plus, it really teaches the baby who’s boss.
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Whatever the problem, be part of the solution. Don’t just sit around raising questions and pointing out obstacles.
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You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at.
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My work is my work. I take my work seriously but I don’t take myself too seriously.
TINA FEY